What Might Have Been
by randfan07
Summary: Sheldon let Penny walk out of his life, with his unborn child.  Now seven years later, Penny returns to Pasadena but she's not alone and Sheldon sees what could have been his, is there still a chance that it could be?     I own none of the BBT characters!
1. Chapter 1

It had hurt him much more then he had let on when Penny walked out of his life, or more appropriately, when he had pushed her to the breaking point. In her defense, she had tried to make it work. Sheldon had no illusions about this matter.

She had tried very hard. He did not know when it happened. Somehow, someway, Penny had made him fall into what some may call "love" with her. She had been able to claw her way into his life and settled in nicely, right by his side. When he suggested that they attempt the social paradigm of dating, she had surprised him with how long she seemed to have been waiting for him to ask. They "dated" for six months before they moved in with each other. Everything seemed fine at that point, at least to Sheldon. But he soon felt himself longing for solitude, longing to return to a life where he slept alone, where he did not share a bathroom or eat breakfast with someone.

He knew she knew. She started falling asleep on the couch when she noticed he would purposely turn his back to her in bed. He knew he should have insisted she join him in the bedroom, but he never did.

He grew short with her. All he wanted was to be left alone to do his work and she just seemed to be distracting him, hampering his pursuit of a Nobel Prize. Over the years, Sheldon had not grown particularly more "socially aware" but he had grown extremely "Penny aware." So he could tell when she approached him with the news that she was pregnant she was elated, which made her all the more heartbroken when he merely nodded and returned back to his work.

He supposed that had probably been one of the major breaking points for her, but she held on a little longer. Sheldon had made a feeble attempt when he accompanied her to her first sonogram. Her eyes filled with tears of joy when she heard the heartbeat, and said breathlessly "it's beautiful." At the beginning of their relationship Sheldon would have bit his tongue, but not then, and proceeded to explain how Penny could not make that claim and doubted she would be able to distinguish between her sonogram and another.

He never went with her to another appointment. Leonard, Raj and even Howard all went with her a few times, but he never went again. Leonard had of course given him grief for his behavior, but, as he always did, he disregarded his opinion as idiotic.

Penny tried to involve him in picking out names, as if he could be concerned with something so inane, so irrelevant, and he had no problem telling her so. There were nights when he would hear her throwing up in the bathroom, and all he could feel was revulsion and annoyance that he was being kept awake. When she didn't come back he pretended it was because she felt sick, not because she was crying alone on the bathroom floor.

He stopped kissing her and hugging her all together, it was not something he made a habit of anyway but he never rejected her when she initiated said contacts, but he couldn't even muster up enough energy to indulge her. He was, after all, on the cusp of a break through and could not be distracted when a Nobel Prize was finally in reach.

He felt nothing when he returned home that day to find all her belongings gone and a note on the fridge.

"_Sheldon, I wish you well and hope you can forgive me for trying to make you something you are not. You're not a father, you're not a boyfriend, you are a scientist, and there is nothing wrong with that. You are fine the way you are and it was wrong for me to try and change you. So long you beautiful-mind-genius-guy. I can't wait to read somewhere that you finally got your Nobel Prize, and I hope it's everything you dreamed. Love, Penny."_

_You're not a father._ Why did that sting? Why should that hurt him at all? It was very true. He chalked the initial feelings of nausea and loss to the fact that his routine would now have to change. Penny had become a huge part of his life and it would take him a while to adjust to her absence. That was the problem, it was not that he missed her.

Given his total lack of emotional investment in the matter, it was no wonder that he was shocked by the sudden sensation of being kicked in the chest when saw a familiar flash of gold as he passed a store window. He should have kept walking, but he couldn't, he was frozen in place. He had just left the comic book store and was walking home (just because certain circumstance had made the acquisition of a driver's license and motor vehicle a necessity, he did not enjoy it). He should've kept walking, but he couldn't, something was fixing his gaze on the woman on the other side of the window. She was, to this day, still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen up close. She did not look anymore aged in the even years that had passed, but she had matured. Her clothing style, her hair style, she was no longer the sexy blonde girl-next-door, rather she was every bit the chique sophisticated woman. She was bent onto her knees hemming the leg of a white karate gi that was obviously too long for the wearer. Sheldon's eyes traveled from Penny to the tiny wearer of the outfit being altered.

If someone were to ask, Sheldon would avidly deny his breathe caught slightly in his throat when his eyes met the face of the little girl, now six years-old approaching seven. He would say that the term "to take ones breathe away" is nonsense as a human does not have that ability without delivering either great news or horrible news, or punching you in the chest, but just looking at a person was not enough. But he knew the truth.

If she were walking down the street without Penny, Sheldon would have known. Her face was a mirror image of Penny's, save the icy blue eyes, though they too lit up in a way his rarely did. Her hair fell in thick long curls around her face. The curls were perfect, like Penny's, but they bore the same chocolate brown color seen on his entire family.

He watched her lively expressions for a moment, she laughed in such a way he could almost hear it. She laughed with her whole face, just like Penny did. He had almost beat that out of her by the end of their relationship, metaphorically speaking of course, as Penny would best him easily in a physical confrontation.

Sheldon suddenly realized as dizziness overtook him that he was not breathing. This was ridiculous, irrational . Yet here he was. He felt a shock go through him when blue met blue. There was a five second span where they just looked at each other. Suddenly the eyes lit up and a beaming grin lit up her face. Sheldon had the distinct feeling that she knew something he didn't. Sheldon's face changed from one transfixed to a deer-in-the-headlights look.

The little girl suddenly jumped off the stool she was standing on. Penny rushed after her, still not noticing him. Sheldon heard the bell above the door of the shop ring as it flew open and the little girl clad in all white ran out and took a flying leap into his arms. Sheldon was not certain how to react, he forgot momentarily what cesspools children were, and he didn't quite have the indecency to shove a young child away from him to the concrete ground.

"Zoe..what the hell…o…"

Sheldon blew the curls that had flown up into his face away from his eyes so he could look at Penny. She stood, shocked in front him. She opened her mouth but all that came out were feeble attempts at noise, no words, no coherent thought.

Now, even Sheldon knew that this was a particularly awkward social interactions, it was not just him making it awkward.

"Mommy," squealed the little girl. "It's my father…I knew I'd find him, I knew it. Mommy said you were here!"


	2. Chapter 2

The next thing Sheldon knew Penny was quickly pulling Zoe off of him, her face a mixture of shock and surprise. "Zoe…Zoe…Zoe," said Penny nervously.. "What did I tell you baby?" Zoe nodded and slid out of Penny's arms.

"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry mommy," she said. "I was just over excited to see him, it toofk me off guard and I forgot what we discussed."

Sheldon observed Zoe. If there was one thing he could spot a mile away, it was a one of his own and in those few words, the way they were delivered, her expressions, despite the high animated child-like voice, all of it pointed toward an abnormally high IQ.

"I know you're excited sweety," said Penny. "But remember, you can't paw on him." Zoe nodded as a look of remembrance came over her face.

"Oh yes, his aversion to human contact," Zoe muttered before turning to look up at Sheldon. "I am very sorry for invading your personal space Dr. Cooper. What are your feelings toward hand-shaking?"

She held out a tiny hand to him expectantly but Sheldon didn't react. How was one to react to such a situation? In one short moment, his world had come crashing down. It was supposed to be a normal day. He had picked up a comic book, he was going home, he would read his comic book and then he would go to Leonard's apartment for dinner. Now in one single moment, all of this had been disrupted, and he was allowing it to be disrupted.

"Dr. Cooper?" The little voice calling his name shook him from his reverie. She looked at him concerned. He took her hand thoughtlessly and shook it…it was so tiny it was strange looking to him. He had absolutely no contact with children since he left his home in Texas, they perplexed him, in part because he was never really one of them in any other way that he had been small and unable to vote, but also that they were like little people. They consisted of legs, arms, hands, feet, a head, everything just miniaturized.

"My name is Zoe Lee Ryan," she said, continuing their conversation, whether or not Sheldon participated or not.

"Hello," he said carefully, somewhat cautiously. "I am Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper."

"I know," she said happily. "We have the same middle name, we have the same DNA for that matter which I suppose is somewhat relevant…"

"Zoe," said Penny suddenly. "Could you go back into the shop for a little and give us some time to talk?" Zoe looked from Sheldon to Penny pleadingly.

"I promise you'll get to say good bye," said Penny. "But you understand how difficult this is for Dr. Cooper."

Zoe nodded. "I suppose meeting your progeny for the first time seven-years-later with your ex-paramore would be an awkward one," she said, reasoning out the circumstance.

"Yes Ma'am," said Penny with a nod. "So if you would let me talk to Dr. Cooper for a little first I think it would help him."

"Alright," said Zoe, turning her gaze toward Sheldon. "Promise you won't leave without saying goodbye. I haven't waited this long to meet you and not get a proper goodbye, especially as it could very well be the last time I see you."

Sheldon nodded absently, unable to beckon up words yet. Satisfied, Zoe turned and scampered back into the store.

"I'm sorry," said Penny, her eyes still forward looking at the path Zoe took back into the store. "I mean to tell you I was back in Pasadena but…I just…"her voice faltered. "I didn't know if you'd want to know." Sheldon nodded still staring wide-eyed at the store, he could see Zoe through the window still.

"I told Leonard," she continued.

"Who of course failed to relay the message," said Sheldon. "It has taken him quite a while to forgive me for allowing you to just leave."

"Allowing me," scoffed Penny. "Like you could've stopped me." Sheldon nodded in ascension to that point.

"What brings you back to Pasadena," asked Sheldon, finally turning his gaze back to Penny. A smile broke out onto her face which, for some reason, as it always did before, made him feel a little giddy.

"This," she said, gesturing grandly to the boutique. Sheldon looked at her confused. "We've been in business for about 4 months." Sheldon looked up, written in scrip that screamed Penny was the name of the store.

"Penny Blossoms," he read, he was immfediately taken back. That had been there project, one of many times he came to her rescue.

"Turns out I'm a much better designer then an actress," she said with a laugh. "I started off doing adult stuff, but I loved making stuff for Zoe so I started making children's clothes and had a lot of success there, so here we are. I make the clothes and Jake handles marketing and budget and all that stuff, I actually learned how to do that when I started doing this on my own, but he loves being involved."

"Jake?"

"Husband," she said, somewhat cautiously, holding up her hand, a glittering diamond winked mockingly at him, everything she had wanted and everything he was not willing to give her.

"Oh yes, of course," said Sheldon, masking any emotion that the ring stirred. "Congratulations."

"Thanks she said."

"And does Zoe approve of him?"

"Oh she loves him," said Penny happily. "Jake and I met when Zoe was 3, so she knows he's not her biological father, but it has never mattered."

Sheldon nodded. He was once again possessed by an illogical feeling. He could not possibly be jealous. It was not as if he had any paternal claim over her. Penny watched the subtle display of emotions play across Sheldon's face.

"But she's always wanted to meet you," said Penny, looking at him. "I told her about you when she was young. I knew when she started showing signs that she was like you that I wouldn't be able to lie or have any hopes that she would forget…"

"Like me?"

"She's a genius," said Penny with a shrug and a smile. "She inherited your beautiful mind." Sheldon's face lit up slightly before he could help it or hide it but then he quickly reminded himself that he did not care about Zoe, nor did he have any vested concern in her life.

"Really," he asked, trying to sound detached.

"Really," said Penny, her smile growing at the chance to brag on her little girl once again. "She's brilliant. At first I thought she was just smart when she was 3 she started reading. But she had amazing recall for everything she learned, and I remembered your eidetic memory and though she might have inherited that. She taught herself calculus by the time she was 5, but she is particularly fond of the sciences. She likes physics and engineering, don't tell Howard, but I encourage physics," she said with a wink. "But she also loves to paint, and draw, and read and write. She does ballet, and she just signed up for karate lessons. She' just amazing."

Sheldon didn't know what to make of the emotions at play within him. Pride was something he had never felt for another human being, but then he recalled he had little right to pride. She was not his child, he had nothing to do with her, aside from the contribution of his quality genes.

"We had her tested when she was 5," said Penny.

"An IQ unable to be accurately measured by human tests?"

"Yup…she has my temper and your genius."

"What does that mean?"

"It means when she insults someone, she knows it," she said with a laugh. "It's caused a few problems at schools, no matter where we put her it never fits. One of her teachers said it was rebellion and a bad attitude. But I informed her it was more of the same healthy suspicion of authority we see exhibited at the Boston Tea Part...she did not agree."

Sheldon looked carefully at Penny. She _had _changed. Still the same razor sharp claws when she wanted them but more polished and precise. As if on cue, Penny through her familiar 1000 watt smile his way, that hadn't changed at all, nor did it's odd and inexplicable ability to make his knees go a tiny bit shaky.

"She adores you Sheldon."

"I can't imagine that's true," said Sheldon. "Considering all I am to her is the sperm donor who and the man who drove her mother away."

Penny turned to face Sheldon completely.

"Sheldon, look at me," she ordered. Sheldon obeyed, cautiously. "She knows it was my choice, she never thought you abandoned her." Sheldon felt a tightness in his chest, and a stab of admiration for Penny. What woman would do that? He thought, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," yet here was Penny, defending him to his estranged child.

"How does she seem to know me so well?"

"I told her about you when she was young, she knows Jake isn't her father and a four year old genius presses things more than most. I told her, we were very young, we were best friends, but you were a genius scientist and had some things you needed to do and we just didn't fit into the picture." Why did this cause the tightening in his chest to become more painful? He had wanted this after all, solitude, you couldn't make a Nobel Prize worthy discovery with a significant other and a child hanging around.

"It didn't come up again until she was five. She found you actually." Penny got a bewildered look in her eye. "It was so weird. She wasn't even trying, but I told you she likes Physics and she was trying to teach herself more and one day she brought me an article, your article, and told me you were her favorite scientists because your article was one of the few she didn't understand. I know you don't believe in this kind of thing but I took it as a sign that I was supposed to tell her who you are. She just fell in love with you, she read all your articles, about all your experiments, she tries to talk to me about them and it's like when you tried to tell me about them…" She made a whooshing sound and through her hand over her head.

Sheldon looked at her perplexed.

"Over my head," she explained patiently. "Anyway, she's been wanting to meet you. But I told her it probably wasn't going to happen but then when we decided to go into business and Jake started looking for good places and this was the place he picked. All of it was just weird. "

"Actually…" Sheldon was about to say something about the probability being not too astronomical but he decided to bite his tongue, something he should have done more often near the end.

"So I told her that maybe, one day, I might talk to you and see…I never imagined it would be this soon or that it would happen this way, and I am really sorry, I know this is overwhelming," she spoke gently, looking up at him with soft sympathetic eyes. "Tell me what you're thinking sweety."

"I really don't know," he said slowly, as if not believing the words himself. "I seem to be experiencing a sort of overload of both facts and emotions"

"Of course you are," she said. "And that's okay. You don't have to do anything now accept say goodbye to Zoe. If that's the last you want to see her, then that's okay too."

Sheldon didn't know why but that thought made the feeling of nausea return.

"You will say goodbye right," pressed Penny.

"I gave my solemn vow that I would," he said.

Penny laughed at his dramatics. "You haven't changed a bit," she said lightly. But Sheldon was struck by the words, that was the problem in the first place, wasn't it? He doesn't change.

Sheldon followed her into the boutique. Perhaps she hadn't changed that much herself. The place was exactly Penny's style, brightly colored walls, tables of accessories, notably the original Penny Blossoms. It was, Sheldon observed, "cute" according to conventional standards. And while he was not known for his own fashion sense and had little respect for the field of design, he admitted that the apparel matched what parents typically desire their children to wear. In simpler words, Penny had certainly found her niche.

Penny led him to a nook in the back of the store where Zoe sat reading a book of fairy tales in the corner. Sheldon raised an eyebrow and started to make a snort of derision.

"Father, before you start, I know you have a general disrespect for the field of literature," she raised her eyes from the colorful pages and looked at him. "But I think someone with a such a fondness for comic books might want to keep their opinion of Grimm fairy tales to themselves."

Sheldon's face twitched as he struggled for a comeback. _Blast,_ he thought, _bested by his 6-year-old offspring._

"As per your request," Sheldon went on. "I'm informing you to the fact that I am departing." Sheldon noticed the flicker of disappointment in Zoe's eyes, and for some reason it made him feel a slight surge of happiness. She wanted him to stay, that wasn't something he could say of many people, aside from Penny, well Penny once upon a time.

"Alright then," she said, closing the book and standing up. "Then I suppose this is goodbye." Suddenly her eyes brightened. "Unless of course, you want to come to my ballet recital tomorrow?"

"I don't really care for the ballet,' he said bluntly, though not harshly.

"I assumed so," said Zoe. "Which is very silly, it's a beautiful form of artistic expression, not to mention the impressive resolve of those who do the art. You try performing "Swan Lake" with a pulled Achilles Tendon."

"That is hardly an argument," said Sheldon. "Quality of the art is not at all related to the difficulty of the task. Do you know hard it is to write your name in the snow with urine? Very difficult, but that does not mean this is a task worthy of anyone's time or effort."

"Perhaps not, but if someone were to paint the Mona Lisa with their urine, I would want to see that. It's more dependent on the outcome. And the outcome of ballet is pure grace and beauty."

"Well if you consider that a worthwhile outcome…"  
"I do," she asserted forcibly with a nod. "And I really really really would like it if you could come. I'm the youngest in my class and only joined this class five months ago, but I got the lead anyway."

She looked up at him, eyes wide and pleading. He had always presumed himself to be immune to such antics, no one bothered to appeal to an emotional side because everyone assumed he lacked one, since Penny nobody bothered. Yet, here was Zoe, looking up at him, and for some odd reason, he imagined saying no to her would be a somewhat Herculian task. He was a bit frightened, why did he want to go at all? Why was it even an option in his mind? Tomorrow was vintage game night, and he was considering disturbing it in order to attend this child's ballet recital.

"I suppose I can spare a few hours…"

Zoe did a leap of excitement and clapped her hands together excitedly. "Did you hear that mommy? Is that okay?"

Penny looked from her excited daughter to a bewildered Sheldon. "Of course," she said slowly, almost

as confused as Sheldon. "If Sheldon wants to come he can." She turned toward him. "It's 1542 Euclid Avenue, 7 o' clock. We'll leave a ticket for you at the front."

Sheldon nodded. The three of them stood there for a moment. Penny fully aware of the potential awkwardness that awaited them, Sheldon trying to reconcile the emotions currently at odds within him, and Zoe hopping for joy that her hero would be watching her perform Swan Lake.


	3. Chapter 3

"I must say Leonard, I am utterly baffled as to you did not alert me to the fact that Penny has returned to Pasadena."

Leonard rolled his eyes at Sheldon's complaints as hef distributed tfhe food amongst the four of them. It was seven years later but not much had changed. He still lived in the same apartment, but with Howard since Sheldon had moved out, and the four of them still hung out there at least three times a week for dinner, games, and movies.

"Frankly, Sheldon, I am utterly baffled as to why I would," said Leonard. "You've expressed no interest in seeing Penny or Zoe, in fact you've had a disturbing lack of interest."

"All the same I think there should be an amendment made to the Friendship Agreement which stipulates that the known return of any future progeny and mother of said progeny should be made known to the friend."

"I thought we should tell you," said Raj, "but Penny did ask us not too. And Howard and Leonard didn't want to anyway."

"Oh, I see it's a mass conspiracy," said Sheldon, his voice heightening slightly. "I feel as though one of my so called friends should have taken the time to at least leave a memo."

"Penny's our friends too," said Leonard. "And when two friends break up it's very complicated …"

"Especially when one of them was a giant douche," said Howard pointedly.

"Now Howard," said Sheldon. "While leaving without saying anything might have been a bit rude, I do not think such harsh words are necessary."

Howard looked at him, a look of disbelief on his fact, but Leonard shook his head to silence them.

"But all the same," continued Sheldon. "She has returned to Pasadena with my child and..."

"Wait, did you meet Zoe," asked Raj. Sheldon looked at him.

"Have you?"

"Of course, Penny has been sending me pictures for a long time. Howard and I took her to the park a couple of weeks ago….turns out I can speak in front of female children by the way. But she's pretty amazing dude."

"Damn," exclaimed Howard. "Can you imagine? With Sheldon's brains, and Penny's goddess like features, and knowledge of social norms, that beautiful nerd is going to rule the world."

"I hardly say she has my brains," said Sheldon. "She's undeniably intelligent, but…"

"But nothing," interjected Leonard. "She's you in a prettier package. She has an IQ that cannot be accurately measured by human tests, as you delight in reminding us about yourself. In fact, I might go as far as to say she's smarter then you, your homo novus, she's homo novus superior. She has all your logic and analytical skills, but her right brained abilities aren't handicapped like yours."

"Nonsense," said Sheldon. "She's a ballerina, how smart can she be? All the same, she has undeniable potential and it would seem she and Penny will both be settled in Pasadena until further notice."

"So," said Raj. "Are you planning on being a part of her life?"

"Is Penny letting you be part of her life," asked Howard, in disbelief.

"Yes," said Sheldon. "It would seem so. She's allowing me to go to her ballet recital tomorrow. But who knows what I will choose in the long run. Any long term obligation would be a severe disruption in my life."

It was odd, the sick feeling in his stomach when Sheldon imagined telling little Zoe that he would not see her again. He told himself it was solely due to her disappointment and had nothing to do with his own.

"I have not decided what course of action I will take. All of this is further complicated by the presence of Penny's current husband."

"Oh yeah, Jake," said Leonard. "Nice fellow."

Raj made a snort. "I don't know, I don't trust the guy."

Sheldon cocked his head to the side, looking at Raj questioning. "Why?"

"I don't know," he said. "There's something about him, but hey, what do I know? He seems to love Penny and Zoe well enough."

"Well, we'll see how he will react to my presence in Zoe's life. I need further data before I can arrive at a conclusion." Sheldon didn't know he had decided the minute he met her.

Sheldon stood nervously in the lobby of the theater where Zoe would be performing that night. They were late, as usually was the case with Penny. He was somewhat comforted by the fact that this had not changed.

He first saw them standing outside the studio, she was in the middle of a heated discussion with a very handsome man. He observed them for a moment, he had been the recipient of that face many times, her eyes blazing with anger, but never in their courtship did he yell back in the way this man was.

Finally things seemed to calm down and Penny opened the door, her face went from one of stress to a smile, a fake smile. They had lived together for a year, he had learned how to identify this smile.

"Sheldon," she said. "I'm happy you could come."

He nodded.

"This is Jake," she said. "My husband." She pulled the man closer, he clearly did not even bother with a fake smile.

"Hello," said Sheldon, neither man extended a hand of greeting. Jake was shooting daggers at Sheldon, clearly not pleased with the situation.

"Look Shelly," he started, his voice derisive and rude. "I don't like you, I don't think I'm going to like you, frankly I can't believe Penny is letting you back into her or Zoe's life…"

"Back into Penny's life," corrected Sheldon.

"What?"

"You said you couldn't believe Penny would allow be "back" into her or Zoe's life. I was never in Zoe's life so I can't come "back" into her life, I have just now entered her life. Unless of course you are like my mother and adhere to the belief that a fetus is indeed a human life, then I suppose you could make that statement."

Jake looked at Sheldon for a moment, then back at Penny.

"Is this guy shitting me?"

Penny shushed Sheldon before he could state that this was "a biological impossibility."

"Jake," she said sharply. " Please."

Jake rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he said. He turned back to Sheldon. "Let's just agree we aren't going to be friends, we don't have to talk during this thing, so let's just go in, sit down and watch _my_ daughter's recital."

Sheldon nodded his head. "I find that very agreeable."

Penny shook her head and sighed. This was going to be a long night.

The three of them went to sit down, with Penny in between them. She almost laughed a little when she observed the situation. She couldn't imagine a more awkward situation. She was with her current husband and her ex-lover, the daddy of her child and the father of her child, one was pissy, the other oblivious.

She made a few feeble attempts at conversation, but breathed a sigh of relief when the auditorium darkened and the curtain rose.

Sheldon was no sap, in fact he was a robot, which meant he rationalized everything. So that night left him with the only possible conclusion, Zoe simply was breathtaking. He was a scientist he had to accept when in the course of two days Zoe had had the same effect on him twice, that it must just be so. She was simply beautiful. Her curls gathered up atop her head, laced with flowers and glitter. She moved gracefully and fluidly. He noted her long limbs, yet another trait from her father, but somehow she made what was awkward and gangly on him into something controlled, elegant and beautiful.

For a brief moment, he felt a surge of pride. He usually only felt it for himself, but it was unmistakably. But as quickly as it appeared it was chased away when he remembered, once again, she was not his daughter. He did not raise her. He looked over at Penny, whose hand was resting in Jakes, her eyes brimming with tears as she watched her little girl. Jake too looked at her with pride filled eyes. She belonged to them.

He told himself this did not make him sad.

At the end of the performance, Penny was beaming as they walked out. "She was beautiful," she exclaimed with a giddy laugh, kissing Jake on the cheek. She turned to Sheldon. "Wasn't she spectacular?"

Sheldon nodded in response. The three of them waited in awkward silence for Zoe to meet them in the lobby. Zoe finally came bounding out from behind the double doors. Her face was red and lit up with happiness. To the surprise of all of them except Penny, Zoe leapt straight up into Sheldon's arms. It was a good thing she was so light, or his lack of upper body strength might have failed him at the sudden and unexpected weight it was forced to support.

Jake looked put-out, but Penny did not take notice of this. She was too distracted by the fact that Sheldon did not recoil. He did not embrace her but allowed her to hug him. She let go of Sheldon and slid to the floor and then hugged Penny around the legs, and then proceeded to hug Jake.

"Sweety, I am so so proud of you," said Penny. "You were so beautiful. You were a perfect little swan."

"Mommy, I wasn't a little swan, I was the Swan Queen."

"Oh honey, you know I haven't been able to tell you the plot of any of the ballet's you have been in. You could've been a snowflake, a mouse, a swan, but either way you were wonderful."

Zoe shrugged and hugged her mother again. Sheldon was never able to have such an interaction without correcting, scolding, or unwittingly mocking the person he was speaking too, Zoe seemed to have found a way to temper her genius. Was it possible that she had inherited all of us good qualities and none of his faults?

"Now you want to get icecream?"

Zoe looked at her mother, her gaze a bit condescending. _Well_, thought Sheldon, _maybe not none of his faults._

"Mother," she said. "You know today is not ice cream day. "

"Right, today is cookie day. We'll run by the store on the way home to get your favorite cookie dough."

Zoe nodded, her smile wide and bright. "I suppose it would be inappropriate to invite Dr. Cooper?"

Penny laughed. "Sweety, coming home with us to make cookies is the last thing Dr. Cooper wants to do."

"Of course," said Zoe. She turned to Sheldon and looked up at him. "Thank you for coming," she said softly, eyes somewhat sad. "I hope to see you again soon." The last part was said almost as a question. What was the answer to that question? Did he hope to see her again? Would he see her again?

"Thank you for inviting me," he said. "I found it to be an all together tolerable way to spend an evening."

Zoe hugged him around the legs one more time, before he turned to leave. He stepped out of the studio into the warm night air. He paused for a moment to look back in. Jake was holding Zoe, Penny was touching her face lovingly. They were a perfect, beautiful family. It could've been his.

He turned to leave but found that walking away from Penny and Zoe was not the easiest thing to do, why had it been so easy before?

"So Sheldon," said Howard, with a slight teasing tone in his voice, as he sat down at their lunch table in the cafeteria. "Tell us how was the ballet recital? Did you enjoy the evening out with Penny, the husband and Zoe?"

"Yeah, that had to have been awkward," said Raj. "Penny with her good looking, rich, manly, husband who wears adult shirts…"

Leonard smacked Raj in the shoulder.

"Come on guys," he said, good naturedly, but then turned his gaze back to Leonard. "But seriously, how was it?"

"It was…fine."

"Fine? That's it? What did Jake say when he saw you? Was he upset or was he almost insulting by how non-threatened he was by you," asked Howard.

"I don't know how Jake was, that's something you will have to ask him. We established a relationship of mutual indifference."

"Indifference," said Howard. "Wow, you must have been on your best behavior."

"Alright, well perhaps more than polite indifference on his part, but I could not be bothered with it."

"And Zoe," pressed Raj. "How was she? Excited to see you?"

"Of course she was," said Sheldon taking a bite of his beef-o-roni. "She simply adores me."

"Yes, she does," said Leonard. "But what do you think about her?"

"Well, she's an impressive ballerina," said Sheldon. He kept to himself just how much he enjoyed watching her dance and how he did not feel utter repulsion when she hugged him, that was none of their concern. "Especially for a child of her size, and age, though I imagine that kind of thing can't be good for her feet. Perhaps I should speak to Penny about that."

Sheldon did not have to tell them anything, that last final line gave it all away. Sheldon taking notice, Sheldon showing concern, Sheldon investing himself. He looked up, fork almost to his mouth, he stopped when he noticed the shocked faces.

"What?"

They shook their head, and shrugged, they wouldn't say anything, he was like a deer and they didn't want to spook him or push anything.

"So," continued Leonard cautiously. "Did you decide?"

"Decide what?"

"If you are going to be a permanent familiar fixture in her life or if you are going to abandon her again?"

Sheldon looked at him exasperated. "Again, I did not abandon her, just Penny, and technically Penny left me."

"God knows what she was doing with you in the first place," said Leonard, somewhat bitterly, but he couldn't get into this again, it had been a bad time in their friendship when Penny had first walked out on Sheldon and he didn't need to stir up those problems again.

"That's irrelevant, she is no longer with me and she has a new husband who is clearly fulfilling all of his spousal duties, as to my duties concerning Zoe, I don't know. I am still uncertain as to whether or not Penny wants me to be in Zoe's life, she never said specifically and she knows I would need it to be made explicit."

"I'm sure if Zoe wants you, Penny wants you," said Leonard.

"It's true dude," concurred Raj. "I've never seen a mother love a kid that much…certainly not mine."

"Well, we shall see how this progresses."

"How are you hoping it progresses," asked Leonard. He did not want to hear him say it, to recognize what a mistake he made. Sheldon looked at him, obviously frustrated.

"I do not know Leonard, I suppose it would not be entirely off putting to interact with her again at a future date, but seeing as I have no way of contacting them I suppose I'll wait and see if Penny is comfortable with me having any further presence in Zoe's life. And I certainly don't see what concern it is of yours."

Sheldon's Teas twang came out a little stronger as he stood and walked away. The three scientists sat there for a moment in silence.

"Well, plucked a nerve there didn't we," said Howard, leaning back in his chair and stabbing at Sheldon's beef-o-roni with his fork. "Guy must be upset, he didn't finish his meal now his bowel movements are going to be out of whack."

Sheldon paced in his office, trying to distract himself with his work but he couldn't. His thoughts constantly returned to those big blue eyes, and brown curls, and the sick feeling that overtook him when he thought of not seeing them again. It was such a distressing thought, it had even thrown off his breakfast as well, Lord knows how long it would take him to get his bowel movement back on track. His thought process was interrupted when his office phone rang.

"Hello," he said uncertainly.

"Hello father," came the voice on the other end of the line that made his breathe catch. "Or should I call you Dr. Cooper, I am not sure what protocol demands."

"How did you get this number?"

"CalTech does not protect its employee's privacy very well at all. You would think their firewall would be better." His daughter was a computer hacker, at the age of six, that was…wonderful. "Anyway, I know you have very little knowledge of these social interactions, so I decided that I would make the first move." Sheldon cleared his throat, this was the moment. Option A, say "no" hang up the phone and continue his well-ordered routine, continuing a path that was moving ever closer to a Nobel Prize. Or Option B, he could allow the conversation to continue, risk further attachment on both sides, and further disruption of his everyday life, and possibly slow down his trek to future greatness and breakthroughs. He asked himself the question which had determined so many things in his life, what would Spock do? But this time he didn't like the answer to the question, so to hell with Spock.

"What do you propose?"

Option B it is.

"Well, today is ice cream day," she stated.

"It's also comic book day," he said.

"Well, how about you come pick me up after work today, we will go get ice cream and then we can go to the comic book store."

"That sounds acceptable."

"Good pick me up after work, I live at…"

Sheldon heard a familiar voice drift over the phone.

"Zoe who are you talking to?"

"Drat," whispered Zoe into the phone. "Foiled by my own mother."

He could here Zoe protest weakly and then rummaging as the phone switched hands.

"Hello," came Penny's voice.

"Hello," he said slowly, uncertain of how to proceed.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes."

"Why are you calling, how did you get this number?"

"I didn't call," said Sheldon. "Zoe called me."

"What? How…Dammit Zoe, I told you, you can't just hack indiscriminately…also, how did you get onto my computer?"

"Oh mother," said Zoe with a smirk Sheldon could practically here. "It's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything, my name and my birthday mother, really?"

"Fine," she returned. "I'll change it to the other name I have for."

"Beelzebub?"

"I wouldn't tell you even…Ugh, I'm sorry Sheldon."

"No need to apologize . Zoe requested I take her for ice cream and then to the comic book store today."

Sheldon felt Penny tense through the phone. While he was still socially inept, he still knew Penny. And why shouldn't she be uncertain about allowing her child to spend the day with the man who abandoned her in her time of need without so much as a how-do-ya-do. Even he knew that would be a source of tension for anyone. Apart of him, the rational logical part, wanted her to say "no", to make the decision for him, but another side of him, the side that had been collecting dust since his relationship with Penny had come to an end was hoping that she would let him have this.

"And you agreed," she asked a slight edge in her voice.

"Yes."

"How will you get here?"

"3 years ago I was regrettably forced to obtain a drivers license when I moved to LA for a time to work with Dr. Smoot."

"Okay," she said. "I live at 574 Oakland Ave."

"I will be there at 5:30."

"Alright."

The next thing Sheldon heard was the dial tone. What the hell was he getting himself into?


	4. Chapter 4

Sheldon sat anxiously in his car. This was ridiculous. One of the greatest minds of the 21st century and here he was, nearly incapacitated with fear at the thought of spending a few hours with a 7-year-old child. He was desperately trying to figure out why he wished to pursue this relationship. It could only lead to trouble and complication. He drew a breath and tried to still the shaking of his hand. He was not one for personal pep talks as he rarely engaged in situations he was not entirely certain of his expertise. Now he was throwing himself into his proverbial lion's den.

He finally took the keys from the ignition of his car, opened his door and began the long trek up to the perfect 3 story house. It had a big green lawn, plenty of room for any child to play and run a perfect place for Zoe to grow up.

He considered once again turning around and driving away but he did not. Instead he rang the doorbell. He waited nervously, rocking on the balls of his feet. The door opened and Penny stood there. He had an urge to cast his eyes down as Penny locked her fiery gaze on him. He recognized that look, her no nonsense look, he had seen it several times before.

"Okay," she said, arms crossed over her chest. "Here's the deal Sheldon. You have two options right now. You can leave, walk away right now and never come back and that would be fine. Sure, she'll be sad, but she'll get over it. But…"

She stepped closer to him. He felt slightly dizzy, her close proximity making it difficult for him to concentrate. Her closeness has an intoxicating effect on him, some things just didn't change.

"If you decide to do this, you can't half-ass this. Either be in her life or not. I'm not going to see her hurt because of you…" although he towered over her, he suddenly felt very small. "You will not abandon her again, do you understand?"

Sheldon was taken back to their old fights. It was inexplicable, but Penny was always at her most irresistible to him when she was fighting with him, her face flushed, emerald eyes ablaze, voice low and shaky. It spoke to some primal part of him he never knew he had until he met Penny. Unfortunately, this would not end the way their previous fights would.

"Sheldon," she snapped, bringing him back to earth. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," he answered. "I accept those conditions."

"Good," she said with a nod. "I'll go get her."

She turned to leave but was stopped when Sheldon grabbed her wrist. She turned back around, her eyes lingering on the long fingers around her wrist before meeting his.

"Yes?"

"Penny," he said. "I do not wish to push my luck, assuming one believes in such a thing. But, I'm curious, why are you allowing this?"

Penny sighed and looked at him, her gaze naked and vulnerable and worried. He had carefully categorized all of her looks, this was not one he had remembered seeing, the look of a mother.

"Because I love her," she said, voice cracking slightly. "And I can't stand the thought of her being lonely." Sheldon looked at her questioningly. "I would do anything for her. I know her better than anyone but I can't even begin to understand the depths of her mind, and I think she needs someone in her life that's like her. She needs you Sheldon."

Sheldon was suddenly overwhelmed with affection for the woman, for the mother, before him. She loved Zoe so much. She was willing to let the man who had driven her away just for the sake of the child. He never dreamed that the girl who could barely pay her bills, or do her laundry, would be such a capable guardian. He simply nodded in response and Penny turned to go get Zoe. Sheldon mentally racked through possible conversation topics, he knew should have made cue cards.

He didn't have time to think up any before Zoe came running up to the door.

"Oh, I'm so happy you're here," she exclaimed. This time Zoe was dressed in pink dress with fairy wings and a belt with a rubber sword tied to it. Despite her overwhelmingly Sheldon like qualities, this was Penny through and through, she could defend herself but that didn't mean you couldn't look pretty doing it.

"Is this what you'll be wearing," asked Sheldon. Zoe nodded untying the sword and putting it aside. Sheldon looked at her skeptically.

"Again, judgment from the man who dressed up for Halloween until he was 30, really?"

Sheldon felt his face twitch as he struggled for something to say in return.

"It's okay," said Zoe. "Mommy told me despite your IQ that you're wanting a bit in wit."

Sheldon looked back at Penny as Zoe pulled him away from the door. Penny shrugged innocently, watching as Zoe pulled him down the driveway. Penny felt a suddenly warm feeling. She told herself it was joy for Zoe, happiness that she had someone she can talk to. That was it; it had nothing to do with seeing Sheldon with her daughter.

"Okay," said Zoe, looking at the girl behind the counter. "I want the first scoop to be Rocky Road with 5 Swedish Fish, 7 M&M's, and 5 marshmallows." Sheldon stood behind the fairy clad girl as she ordered.

"Rocky Road has marshmallows," said the teenager, who was clearly not happy to be there. Sheldon observed the look that crossed Zoe's face. First it was a look of annoyance and condescension, replaced by irritation, the one of struggling patience. As if she would not know that there were marshmallows in Rocky Road.

"Yes, I know," she said. "But the ice cream to marshmallow ration is not completely satisfactory, so I'm requesting more marshmallows. But that's just the first scoop...the second one will…"

The teenager gave an exasperated sigh and tapped her fingers impatiently.

"You know let's just do cotton candy," she said. Interesting, thought Sheldon. She had mastered the art of altering her schedule for those around her. Why she would bother had no idea. The teenager looked at Sheldon.

"And you?"

"Me?"

"What she meant was, "what would like sir,"" said Zoe.

"Oh of course," he said. "I'll just have vanilla ice cream"

"Thank God," she muttered, disappearing into the back. Zoe and Sheldon heard the clank from the back, metal hitting floor, and then the girl came back out holding a scooper. Sheldon looked mortified. Zoe looked from her nearly hyperventilating father to the girl.

"Excuse me miss," said Zoe, standing on her tip toes to look over the counter at her. "Did you drop that scooper?" The girl turned and looked at her clearly aggravated.

"Of course not," she said.

"I'm sorry but the cacophony from the back, the shifting of your eyes and your dilated pupils suggests that you did. Either way, we'd feel better if you switched the scoopers.

The girl looked as though she had it in her to throw the scooper at Zoe but she turned and went to the back again.

"Don't worry," said Zoe, looking up at Sheldon with a smile. "I've got your back."

"So it would seem," he said, a small smile on his lips.

"So I read Leonard's paper and found it fairly easy to understand and consulted very minimal outside sources for clarification but I have had trouble understanding your papers, even with outside sources, which I have found to be limited…"

"Well that's to be expected," said Sheldon, sitting across from Zoe in a booth. "Most geniuses at their peak cannot interpret my theories, let alone a child of 7 who has yet to meet her mental zenith."

Zoe nodded and continued, what followed was what anyone who passed by would say was a sweet father-daughter chat, but anyone who would care to stop and listen would think the conversation was in a different language. And anyone who knew Sheldon would see a man happier than he had been in a long time. With amazing recall and eloquence, Zoe cited specific pages, examples and experiments, asking questions he would have been overjoyed to hear from any of the labradoodles who stopped him in the halls at CalTech. But it was more than the quality of conversation. It was the way she looked at him with eyes she had inherited from him, how much she sincerely enjoyed speaking to him and being with him. Her eyes did not glaze over when he explained the history of Rocky Road ice-cream or the different kind of nuts that were not technically nuts. It was a strange sensation. Is this what he had been so afraid of all those years ago? He couldn't' seem to remember why.

After a trip to the comic book store, where Sheldon purchased ten comic books for Zoe after the startling revelation that his daughter was unfamiliar with the DC universe, Sheldon drove her home. He found that he was somewhat sad as they walked up to the door; Zoe was skipping merrily beside him. Zoe knocked at the door; Penny opened it immediately and took Zoe up in a tight embrace. Sheldon could see the relief on Penny's face as she kissed Zoe on the head.

"Did you have fun," she asked her daughter, still not looking at Sheldon.

"Yes I did," said Zoe with a nod. She held up a bag. "Father bought me some comic books." Penny looked up at Sheldon and stood.

"Of course he did," she said, a smile creeping onto her mouth. "I suppose it was inevitable, I couldn't hide your from the world of comic's forever."

"Mommy, they're comic books," said Zoe, this provoked a proud smile from Sheldon who nodded in agreement. Zoe turned around to face Sheldon and looked up at him with a grin.

"Thank you so much for a lovely outing father. I hope we can do it again soon," she said, the last part of her sentence lilting as if it were a question.

"Yes," said Sheldon. "I'll call your residence sometime in the near future."

"Good, maybe we can go watch Superman."

"They are having a back-to-back showing of Superman 1 and 2 at the theatre this upcoming Wednesday, would you like to join me?"

Zoe looked up at Penny who nodded her head in assent. Zoe jumped up and clapped her hands in excitement then hugged Sheldon around the legs. Sheldon nervously patted her head, before she disappeared inside the house holding her comic books to her chest. Sheldon stood there a moment, not sure if he was supposed to report to Penny the happenings of their day or if he was supposed to leave.

"So," said Penny with a smile. "What do you think of her?"

"You mean of her person?"

"She's…" perfect, he thought, "a very bright child."

Penny raised an eyebrow.

"Sheldon, she'd have to lose 80 IQ points to be classified as bright."

"Of course," said Sheldon. "I found discussion with her to be much more agreeable then I imagined it would be, and I would very much like it if you would allow me to take her for the day again."

"Sheldon, I already told you that you could take her Wednesday."

"I know but I didn't really ask, I assume this is something that I will need your approval for beforehand." Penny nodded.

"Ummm…well then, I'll call you when I know what time the movie is," said Sheldon, still uncertain if he should leave and hoping for some cue from Penny, who again just nodded.

"Well, goodbye Penny," he finally said. Then he didn't know why, if it was just because he wasn't thinking clearly or because it was just what he used to do with Penny when he would leave for work, he awkwardly hugged her, even after he dated her for a year, it was not a graceful sight. He was surprised when Penny hugged him back momentarily before pulling away.

"Bye Sheldon," she said, her voice quiet. Sheldon stepped away from her.

"Thank you Penny," he said, the words foreign to his mouth and falling hard on Penny's ears. She had rarely heard those words from him and never with such earnest. She nodded and the shut the door. She looked out the peephole and watching Sheldon's retreating form, before resting her forehead on the door.

"Shit," she muttered, tears stinging the back of her eyes. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, seeing him again was so incredibly…heartbreaking.

"Mommy?"

Penny felt a tiny hand grab hold of hers.

"Are you in some sort of distress?"

"No baby," she said. "Just tired."

Zoe wasn't buying it, but she didn't press the matter.

"Now come along mommy," she said pulling her toward the living room. "Let me read my comic book to you."

Penny laughed, she had heard that before, but this time, she couldn't say no.


	5. Chapter 5

If someone had asked Leonard if at any point he would be driving a car with this particular group of passengers he would have laughed in their face. But here he was, driving a car with Howard riding shotgun, and Raj, Sheldon and Sheldon's 7-year-old daughter in the backseat. For that matter, if someone were to tell him that Sheldon would ever even have a child or find a human woman willing to create one with him, he also would have laughed.

It was as interesting as any experiment just to watch the interactions between Sheldon and Zoe. Leonard couldn't help but notice the way Sheldon's eyes lit up when they picked up Zoe and she was dressed as Superman. "Not supergirl," she had stressed adamantly, "a girl dressed as Superman." It didn't surprise Leonard at all that Zoe would have a love of costume, her mother was an actress and her father was, well, Sheldon.

Leonard has also noticed the way Sheldon kept craning his neck to check the road and to check his speed, even more then he usually did. The addition of Zoe as a passenger had increased Sheldon's paranoia concerning his driving. It seemed, despite his best efforts, Sheldon felt concern for another human being. Go figure.

Zoe was a little enigma in herself, at some moments she seemed to be a miniature of Sheldon, like at this moment as she was busy psychoanalyzing Raj in an effort to understands the cause of his mutism. But her kind smile, gentle nods of understanding, and words of empathy, those were Penny's.

"Leonard," snapped Sheldon, drawing Leonard's eyes away from the rearview mirror image of Zoe to the face of the irritated physicist.

"What?"

"I do not think any of us would be improved by a fiery death on the highway, so please keep your eyes on the road."

"Father," said Zoe, looking up at him. "Is it true that you just received your license a few years ago?"

Howard laughed and turned around in his seat.

"Kid you're dad didn't even know how to drive until a few years ago."

"That is completely untrue. I have known the rules of driving since I was 10, I just chose not to put them into practice until recently."

"Mommy told me about the time she fell in the shower and you had to drive her to the emergency."

"Yes one of my first experiences with driving," said Sheldon.

"Not to mention his first experience with female anatomy," said Howard with a laugh, garnering a look of disapproval from Sheldon.

"Oh yes," said Zoe with a laugh. "The time you "copped-a-feel", to quote mommy."

Sheldon's mouth fell open and his face turned bright red.

"That…how…it was an accident," he sputtered.

"Relax father…it wasn't like she didn't want you too."

Sheldon colored even deeper.

"I find it odd that she chooses to discuss such things with her child."

"Really for a while it was just the two of us, it's not like she had anyone else to talk to."

Sheldon felt a small stab of shame. But the thought of Penny being alone with their child without any help from him, it made him feel very small. But he supposed that everything worked out for her in the end.

"She also told me about the time you threw her undergarments out the window and on to a telephone wire."

"Yes, but she started that by her incessant inability to abide the rules of the apartment, did she tell you that?'

"Yes, and that she bested you by telling your mother on you."

"A cheap shot no doubt enabled by certain so-called friends," he returned shooting a glare at Leonard, who merely shrugged his shoulder.

"While, I have never exiled her from my room, I did have a similar experience when she organized my room for me. I understand her motherly desire to straighten up after me, but there was however a method to my chaos and it's taken me quite some time to return to it."

"She cleans up after you," asked Sheldon with shock.

"Oh yes," she said with a nod and a laugh. "Or at least she tries."

XXX

"Good grief, how many times are we going to have this argument Sheldon?"

The four physicists and the little girl exited the theatre in the midst of a heated discussing concerning the movies.

"As many times as it takes for you all to see that I am right and admit to the scientific inaccuracies of the scene."

"Well," said Zoe piping in to their usual argument. "I am not entirely familiar with the Superman universe or with whether or not Superman's flight is a feat of strength. But I can't believe that you are fixating on that particular scientific fallacy in a movie where Superman turns back time by flying so fast around the world that he reverses its spin on its axis. Even assuming that such a thing could turn back time, does Superman not realize the damage that would do to the earth itself, not only would it kill Lois Lane, but the entire world, frankly I would expect more from someone as supposedly intelligent as Superman. If any part in the movie deserves this amount of scrutiny I would say it is that one. "

"Yeah but we decided there was no logical explanation for that so we decided to just skip over that particular inaccuracy," explained Leonard.

"Yes I suppose you would have to," said Zoe as she climbed into the car and she settled next to her father. "In those two movies alone the writers had to constantly undermine themselves due to the fact that they have a nearly flawless protagonist. I imagine it would be difficult to find ways to create conflict over five movies, not to mention the countless cartoon and comic book portrayals. So all in all, I found them both to be very enjoyable movies, I particularly enjoyed the character of Lex Luther and would like to think that if I were to ever be a villain, I would be one like him."

Sheldon looked down at her with a nod of approval.

"Not Catwoman," asked Howard, turning in the front seat to look at her. "She was always my favorite."

Zoe gave him a look of annoyance. "Of course she is. I have done a bit of research into the world of comic books and I actually am quite disturbed by the lack of female evil masterminds. From Mystique to Harley Quinn, it seems that they are always subservient minions with a certain amount of sex appeal. Why doesn't any superhero have a female arch-nemesis?"

"Because," said Howard. "It's difficult to take a dude seriously when he's whooping up on a lady, whether she's evil or not."

"That's sexist Howard," said Zoe. "Also predicated on the assumption that the male hero would be able "whoop up on" the female villain, maybe she's stronger."

Howard looked at her condescendingly. " Okay Zoe, maybe in a comic book that's possible."

"I wouldn't argue with her," said Raj. "I would put good money on the fact that Penny could take any one of us down."

Zoe shot a triumphant look at Howard. "That's right! My mommy broke your nose once, because you tried to kiss her!"

"What," asked Sheldon angrily. "When was this?"

"Oh you know, during your whole relationship Penny and I were sneaking off for secret make-out sections."

Sheldon's face turned red with unexplained anger, and Zoe felt him twitching next to her.

"Don't worry father," she said, placing a hand on his arm and looking up at him. "He's being sarcastic." This seemed to calm him down a bit and she continued. "And it was when mommy hurt Howard's feelings so she went to apologize. You said you fell and hit your nose on the bathtub, right Howard?"

Howard looked at her with annoyance. "Is there anything Penny _doesn't_ tell you?"

Zoe shrugged but she didn't answer, she just looked out the corner of her eyes at her father. There were few things Penny didn't tell Zoe, and the things she didn't tell her…well, Zoe knew about those to.

XXX

Weeks passed and Sheldon found that Zoe was rapidly becoming an essential part of his life. He found himself counting down the days until he was able to see her again. Instead of thinking about his work, he was thinking about what he could do with her and what they could talk about. Every time he went to pick her up, his heart would start pounding with nervousness, the continual fear that this time Penny was going to send him away and tell him not to come back or that he would say the wrong thing and that Zoe wouldn't want to see him. And every day when he dropped her off he felt the sting of disappointment. He found that the 30 second conversations he had with Penny before picking up and dropping off Zoe were only serving to make this disappointment worse. Every time he drove away from the perfect neighborhood, the perfect house, the perfect daughter, and the perfect woman, it just reminded him of the life that could have been his, even without a Nobel Prize, it still looked pretty good.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey folks! Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them! And don't' worry the romance is coming in the next few chapters! I have just been focusing more on the relationship between Zoe and Sheldon. I think it shows a different kind of love on the part of Penny and will lead into the romance, but I feel like Sheldon has a lot to make up for all he did and proving himself by being there for Zoe is important, for him and Penny! But it's coming!_

Zoe and Sheldon made their way up the driveway to her house. She was all but skipping next to him gushing excitedly about plans for her next visit, but this delight was immediately squashed when Penny opened the door, her eyes red and puffy.

"Mommy," Zoe said in shock. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing sweety," she said with a smile. "Everything's okay now." She was not fooling Zoe or Sheldon."Why don't you go on inside and practice your violin."

Zoe nodded. "Yes mommy," she turned to Sheldon. "Thank you for dinner, father. I'll see you again soon." She hugged him around the legs, and Sheldon patted her head.

Penny waited for Zoe to leave then turned back to Sheldon. Sheldon didn't know why she was crying, but he hated it. And had to fight back the thought that he used to be the reason for so many tears.

"Sheldon, I have a huge favor to ask, and it's totally okay if you say no, but Jake wants to go out with some friends tomorrow and he wants me to go with him. And…well…he always wants to stay out so late and he always drinks too much and I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to take Zoe for the night? Like I said, I know its last minute so if you're too busy then…"

"No," said Sheldon, trying to mask his own eagerness. "I'm not busy. I would not mind in the least taking her for the night." Penny closed her eyes and breathed deeply and nodded, she seemed a little nervous.

"Thank you Sheldon, it's a big help."

He nodded and stood there for a moment.

"Penny," he said softly, looking down at her. "What's wrong?"

Penny looked up and met his gaze, their eyes held each other for five smoldering seconds before she blinked.

"Nothing's wrong Sheldon," she said forcibly.

"But…"

"Nothing is wrong," she said again, her voice slightly threatening.

"Very well," said Sheldon with a nod. "I'll pick her up after work tomorrow."

"That would be great," she said with a smile. "Thanks again."

Sheldon didn't have time to respond before she closed the door in his face. He stood there for a moment, something wasn't sitting right and he didn't know what it was. He could hardly trust his instincts, they were so often off in such situations, yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. But he would need more evidence before he was certain.

XXX

When Sheldon pulled up to Zoe's house the next day, she was already sitting on the front porch, her bag sitting next to her. As soon as he pulled up, Zoe leapt to her feet, stuck her head in the door and said something, before grabbing her bag and running to the car.

"Hello father!"

"What were you doing outside," he asked.

"It's a lovely day," she said with a smile. "Also mom and Jake dad are fighting again."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow.

"Again?"

"Yeah they've been fighting a lot lately….I don't like fighting. Mommy knows that so she tells me to leave when it happens."

"Does it happen a lot?"

"More now than usual…what are we going to do today? I'm so excited that I get to stay with you tonight? Can we watch the old Star Trek show you told me about? The season with Kirk that you used to watch when you were a kid? Can we go to a museum tomorrow? That would be fun!"

"Why are they fighting now more than usual?"

She gave him a look of patient condescension. "What do you suppose your ex-lover and her current husband are fighting about at this particular juncture in all of our lives?"

Sheldon pondered it for a while and then suddenly a look of realization crossed his face. "They are fighting because of me," he asked cautiously.

"Yes," she said with a nod. "Father doesn't like that she's letting me spend so much time with you, but she is going over his head and saying I can and it's causing some tension."

Sheldon felt a sudden conflict of feelings. He was happy that Penny was on his side, he was angry at Jake for upsetting her, and he felt guilty, guilty at the slight joy he garnered from finding that perhaps Jake wasn't the perfect husband after all. Not to mention, the guilt that he was feeling due to the knowledge that he could possibly be messing up Penny's life….again. But he couldn't worry about that right now.

"Father," she said, looking at him with concern. "Are you alright?"

"Of course I am," he said. "What would you like to do first?"

XXX

After dinner at a Sheldon approved restaurant, they returned to Sheldon's apartment where Howard, Leonard and Raj joined them for a night of Trekking. Zoe made it 3 and a-half-episodes in before she started to doze off, her head resting onto Sheldon's shoulder. Sheldon tensed under her the contact but nor did he scoot over. He just hoped to God that she didn't drool.

"Comfortable," asked Howard with a snigger.

"I'm not _un_comfortable."

Sheldon's eyes widened when he heard a click and turned to Raj who was holding up his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"I wanted a picture," said Raj with a laugh. "This is a beautiful father, daughter moment!"

"Star Trek has a way of making those happen," said Leonard sarcastically.

"Really," asked Sheldon. "Well, maybe this whole fatherhood thing is going to be easier than I thought."

"What are you guys doing tomorrow," asked Raj.

"I was thinking about taking her to Disney Land," he said uncertainly, he looked at them. "That's something children like, right?"

Raj smiled slightly, while Howard and Leonard laughed.

"Yeah, kids like that," said Leonard. "I just can't believe you're actually doing this."

"Doing what," asked Sheldon, distracted looking down at the little girl resting against him.

"Being a father," said Leonard. "Like a real father."

"Hardly," said Sheldon. "I hardly have anything to do with her upbringing."

"But you love her," said Leonard.

Sheldon shrugged not answering the question. Leonard chose not to press it anymore, he knew the answer just from the way Sheldon was looking at her and the way he shooed everyone out so that his daughter could sleep and the way he roused her gently from her sleep, unwilling to let her sleep on the couch due to insufficient lumbar support. He had laid out a mattress he had purchased (just in case) in his room. He thought about putting it in the living room, there wasn't an extra bedroom, but there wasn't a lot of room in there, and he knew some children tended to not be alone when they slept in new places, though he suspected Zoe was more rational then that.

_Good grief_, he thought._ How does Penny manage ANY decisions concerning Zoe, everything was so complicated!_

After the two of them had changed into their pajama's and brushed their teeth Zoe pulled back the covers and laid down on the mattress.

"Well," said Sheldon, standing awkwardly next to his bed. "Good night then."

He made a move to turn off the lamp that was lighting the room.

"Wait," said Zoe. "Aren't you going to tuck me in?"

Sheldon furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Uhh, yes I suppose so."

He knelt down next the mattress.

"How does one do it?"

Zoe laughed.

"Just cover me with the blanket, and then tuck the blankets around me like a mummy!"

"You know," he said, pulling the blankets up over her. "This is hardly like a mummy, more like a straight jacket."

She shrugged. "I know, but mommy says it's like a mummy."

Sheldon nodded and tucked the blankets in around her.

"How is this?"

"Perfect. Mommy also sings to me, actually we sing together, but that's mine and hers song, so you don't have to sing it."

He nodded, perfectly alright with that.

"Alright then, well, goodnight."

He made a move to stand, but her hand on his arm held him still.

"She's crying again," she said, her voice soft and worried.

"What?"

"I'm worried about her father. I remember she used to cry a lot, when she missed you, but then she stopped. Now, she's crying again. She's the best mom in the world and I don't want her to be sad, and I don't think it's just because they're fighting more. What's wrong with her?"

For a moment, Sheldon wasn't looking at a child genius, for now, she was a daughter who was worried about her mother, and he had no idea what to say.

"I don't know," he answered. "I was never good at that kind of thing."

"Was that a part of the problem?"

Sheldon felt uncomfortable discussing such things at all, especially with a child, no matter how mature she was.

"I suppose so," he said. "She was more than patient with me, I suppose it was more the fact that I didn't appear to care."

"Did you?"

"I never believed I could care about a person as much as I did for Penny," he said. Zoe knew he was telling the truth, he was physiologically incapable of lying, after all. "But I suppose I got distracted."

"Mommy always said your first love was science, she also said she knew that when she entered a romantic relationship with you."

"She probably knew me better than anyone else."

"Yet she doesn't know that you're still in love with her," said Zoe, stating this as though it were a well established fact and needed no other explanation. Sheldon began to stutter as he struggled with something to say. "Oh I'm sorry, are you still in the stage of denial concerning that issue? I assumed you knew that, as smart as you are. Oh well, just think about it for a while you'll find that that I'm right!"

She sat up and placed a kiss on his cheek before falling back onto her pillow. Sheldon resisted the urge to sanitize his cheek as he stood and moved to the other side of his bed.

"Goodnight daddy," she said softly.

"Goodnight," he said, still distracted with his daughters observation.

_Still in love with Penny! Nonsense! _

He was a genius after all! If he was going to be in love with her he would have done it when she was single, and in love with him! Not now, when she was married. Just because she and Jake were going through a rough patch, understandable considering the complications of his presence, didn't mean that she was suddenly available for wooing. That was not to say that if Penny were in an unhappy situation and chose to remove herself from it that he would be altogether opposed to revisiting their previous attachment. However, he had no reason to believe that this was an option, and it didn't matter because he was not in love her!

Sheldon found it very inconvenient that he couldn't even lie to himself

XXX

_I'm dying! _This is the first thought that struck Sheldon when he awoke. The tingling in his left arm could only mean one thing, he was having a heart attack. But as the fog of sleep lifted, he felt a slight movement next to him and looked down to see a mess of curls in the line of his vision. Apparently Zoe's mattress had not been satisfactory. She had taken after Penny in that way, she clearly had no aversion to contact and had an apparent disregard for his aversion. It was awful presumptuous of her, but he couldn't muster as much indignation as he wished he felt. He looked at his alarm clock, it was 6:30 in the morning. Clearly, Zoe had no intention of waking up, and he hated to disrupt her comfortable slumber. Maybe, just this once, he didn't have to wake up at 6:30 and watch Dr. Who. The thought disturbed him for about 10 seconds until Zoe burrowed further under the covers her face and closer to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Penny was on her hands and knees, furiously scrubbing at the floors, trying desperately to distract herself and to keep her eyes off the clock where she was obsessively tracking the time. Jake wasn't home. He had forced her to go with him the night before, even though she hated his friends. Punishment maybe, for allowing Zoe to stay with Sheldon? Now he was having a "boy's night." Jake had always been a protective type, but apparently it was more than just concern for her and Zoe, jealously seemed to be playing a greater role in his reaction then she had originally thought.

And why shouldn't it. She was a married woman and here she was, counting down the hours until Sheldon returned with her daughter, and not just because she missed Zoe. It was because those few seconds she spent with Sheldon on her porch, she felt as though she could breathe again. It was as if she had been underwater for years and in those seconds she could come up for air, if only for a moment. Leaving him had been one of the hardest things she ever had to do, but living without him was ten times harder. Every day she was reminded of the fact that she had found the person she would love most in this world, and the sad irony was that her soul mate didn't love her back. It broke her heart and while Zoe had brought her back to life, she had never stopped hurting. And now here he was, suddenly apart of her life. And the guilt killed her because the fact remained that she was married, and she wasn't a cheater.

She practically jumped when the doorbell rang. It was so taxing to get worked up every time the doorbell rang and to experience the fierce hope that it was Sheldon. She was up on her feet in a second and at the door. She opened the door and took in the site in front of her, before cracking up in laughter.

Zoe and Sheldon stood in front her, with matching Mickey Ears, both of them had arms filled with toys, games and other Disneyland paraphernalia. Both looked wide eyes and happy from a day of Disneylanding, and it was pretty much the most adorable thing she had ever seen in her life.

"What is she laughing at," asked Zoe.

Sheldon shrugged.

"Nothing," said Penny composing herself and hugging Zoe tightly. "Did you have fun precious?'

"I did mother, so much fun! I got my picture taken with the X-Men!"

Penny looked at her confused.

"The X-Men are at Disneyland?"

"Yes Disney bought Marvel several years ago mother."

"Oh yes," said Penny with a laugh. "How silly of me."

"It was so funny mom, I ate a corny dog and then I threw it up after I rode the teacups! Dad had to hold my hair out of my face!"

Penny looked up at Sheldon, about to apologize but he seemed to be smiling with a slight amusement.

"Yes, it was quite an experience," he said, absently patting her head. Penny could barely hold back the look of shock. Sheldon met her gaze. She was looking at him as if she barely knew him. Understandable, when she was pregnant it never entered Sheldon's head to even ask her how she was, let alone hold her hair for her during morning sickness.

"Very nice of him," she said slowly. "Thanks again, Sheldon. I really appreciate it."

"Mom," said Zoe interrupting her. "Where's dad?"

"He's …out," she said.

"Again," asked Zoe. "I feel like he's always out these days! I wanted to show him my picture with the X-Men."

"Why don't go you put it on the fridge baby," she said with a smile.

"Capital idea mommy," she said, skipping off into the house.

"Of course," he said. "It was no trouble at all. I hope that you'll let me take her for the weekend again soon."

She smiled softly.

"I'm sure she'd love that."

They two stood in silence, thick awkward tension hanging between them.

"Well," said Penny finally. "I guess we'll let you go."

Sheldon nodded. Zoe had reappeared at Penny's side, looking up at her and then back to Sheldon, she clearly didn't want him to go.

"Thank you, daddy," she said sweetly. "I had fun."

She hugged Sheldon around the legs tightly. Penny looked sadly at Zoe, who was holding to him tight and long.

"I'll miss you," she said.

"Sweety you'll see him again soon," said Penny.

"Yes," said Sheldon. "I promised to take you to the university sometime soon."

Zoe seemed to light up at this.

"Oh yes," she said with a happy hope. "I can't wait."

She detached herself from Sheldon and stepped back with her mother, who, if Sheldon didn't know any better, seemed a little sad to see him leave as well.

"Bye Sheldon," she said one more time.

Sheldon was suddenly seized with a thought. Then he abandoned the thought, then once again, he threw caution with the wind and held out his hand to block the door from closing.

"Uh Penny," he said, his eyes down, obviously embarrassed. "It's Halo Night."

Penny looked at him for a moment, a small smile playing on her lips. Zoe looked up and watched the two of them with keen interest.

"I know, Sheldon," she said. She thought of Halo night once every week, she never thought she'd have it again.

"Well, unless you are previously engaged would you like to join us?"

"Yes," she said. It was abrupt, pure impulse, and the knowledge there was absolutely nothing she would rather be doing tonight. There was a flicker of guilt when she remembered Jake, but he was out with his friends having "guy time", she would hang out with her friends, for the first time in years.

Sheldon looked shocked by her quick response, but pleased.

"Alright, then," he said.

"Just give me a second to get changed," said Penny.

Zoe made a squeal of delight. She had been hoping she would have a chance like this. She wanted to see her mother with her friends, to see her mother having fun, and she wanted to be with the two of them together for more than 30 seconds, at least once in her life.

XXX

"Sheldon, you're late," yelled Leonard as he got up to answer the knock at his door. "This time is going to have to come out of either bathroom time, game time, or dinner time and frankly…"

Leonard opened the door to a sight he never thought he'd see. Sheldon standing next to Penny and Zoe in front of them, they looked like a family, a real family.

"Penny," he exclaimed excitedly. He had seen Penny a few times since she returned but this was different. It would be like old times, times he thought he'd never get back because of Sheldon. Penny laughed giddily and hopped closer to him to give him a hug. Zoe followed suit, though she had seen him recently.

Howard and Raj were equally excited to see her.

"Thank God you're here, Penny," said Howard. "Someone has to knock Sheldon off his high horse and his 34 game winning streak."

"Oh it would be my pleasure," she said happily.

"It's good to see you Penny," said Raj quietly. While he hadn't conquered his fear yet, he had gotten considerably better at speaking to women, plus he was also overcome with joy at having the whole gang back together again.

"You too Raj," she said hugging him tightly and planting a kiss on his cheek.

Zoe stood beside Sheldon, both watching Penny as she interacted with her old friends.

"Good," said Zoe, with relief.

Sheldon looked down at her.

"What?"

"She looks happy," she said with a smile. Sheldon nodded in agreement, she looked like the old Penny.

Zoe cocked her head to the side and smiled.

"You know all children think their parents are the best, and it causes them to over exaggerate certain qualities?"

He nodded.

"I have never had that problem," said Zoe. "I have always been able to say "my mother is the most beautiful women I have ever seen" and it be true."

Sheldon took in her words and remembered a time when he had thought that about Penny too. He still thought she was the most beautiful women he had ever seen, but there was once a time when she was with him, when he could have said "the most beautiful woman in the world picked me." He had lost the right to say that. His thoughts were interrupted by a tiny hand squeezing his. He looked down.

"Also, if I tell 99% of the child population in the world that "my dad is smarter than your dad", it'll be true."

"99.9% I'd say," he said.

She pondered it for a moment and then nodded in agreement.

"Most likely."

XXX

"Kill him mommy! Kill him! Blow his head off!"

"I'm trying!"

"There is no try woman," yelled Zoe who was on her feet, eyes glued on the screen.

Sheldon and Penny were the last left in the epic battle of one-on-one between them. Zoe was watching and cheering on her mother to victory. As much as she loved Sheldon, there was no doubt where her loyalties lied.

"Where is she…I don't see her! Where…" Before Sheldon finished the pieces of his character flew onto the screen in a bloody explosion. Zoe and Penny let out identical screams of victory. Sheldon didn't even have time to pout over his loss, seeing Zoe and Penny holding hands and jumping up in down, basking in her victory, made it impossible for him to feel anything but completeness. The feeling haunted him, this the way his Halo Nights should've been for the past 6 years. This is what his life should be.

XXX

Penny quickly lost track of the time. She loved being back with her boys. They chatted long into the night. Zoe had fallen asleep on the couch, her head in Penny's lap and her feet in Sheldon's. But she couldn't bring herself to leave, she wanted to make this time last as long as possible. She had stayed in relative contact with Leonard and Raj, even Howard, but it was different being with them and hearing what they have been up to. It was different telling them, face-to-face, about the trials and tribulations of raising a prodigy. It wasn't until Jake's name came up that she felt reality come crashing down around her, this was not her life. This was her old life. She had a new life and a husband, a husband who loved her when she thought every man would turn and run when they heard she had a kid, a husband who helped turn her little business into something that actually supports them. He had done a lot for her.

"I suppose we should leave now," said Penny. "It's already past your bedtime Sheldon and you still have to drive us home."

"Oh of course," said Sheldon. "It's well past Zoe's bedtime."

Penny gently lifted Zoe's head off her legs and hugged each one of her old friends goodbye, each one making her promise that she would come back again. She didn't know if she would for sure, but she hoped so.

When she turned around, Sheldon was gently lifting Zoe up into his arms, her head resting against his shoulder. Penny drew a breathe and held back the sudden impulse to cry. He loved Zoe, Zoe loved him, and she, she loved them both. Why did everything have to be so complicated all the time? Well, she was in a room with five geniuses, everything was always complicated.

"Are you ready Penny," asked Sheldon. She nodded, unable to speak at the moment. She followed him out the door. They walked in silence to the car. Zoe still had awoken. She stirred a little when Sheldon buckled her in but she quickly lay her head against the door and fell back into a sound sleep. Penny half hoped that she would wake up. She didn't feel like she could make small talk with Sheldon, they were never good at that, it was one of the things she loved about Sheldon. He never bothered with small talk, so she took to heart everything he said.

They rode in silence for a while before Penny couldn't bare it any longer. She was always the first to break.

"Thank you for inviting me tonight Sheldon."

He nodded, but his eyes were on the road.

"I miss you guys."

He nodded again, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. He couldn't talk to her, without other people there to temper him, he just might tell her to leave her husband and come back to him, but he couldn't do that. He had no right to ask that of her, and furthermore it might cost him his visits with Zoe.

He could feel her eyes on him.

"I'm sorry Penny," he said finally. "I'm not certain of the social protocol here, or what we are supposed to talk about, but I will follow your lead."

Penny looked at him with the same look she had earlier.

"I thought you were the exact same Sheldon, but you're not are you?"

He looked at her briefly, conveying his confusion.

"I assure you I am."  
"No, you've changed. I have never heard the words "I'm sorry" from you Sheldon, and now you can just say it so casually. You hate human contact but you'll hold Zoe like it's the most natural thing in the world. You hate bodily fluids but you took care of her when she got sick. What happened to you?"

"You could barely do laundry or pay your electric bill," said Sheldon. "Now you have created a successful business, you take care of a household, you make decision everyday that impact not only yourself but those dependant on you. What happened to you?"

"Zoe," she answered without skipping a beat.

"Well there you have it," said Sheldon, in answer to her question. Penny turned away to look out the window, discreetly whipping away the tear that finally made it's way down her cheek.

"She's amazing," she choked out.

"Indeed," said Sheldon with a nod. "You have done a superb job raising her Penny. "

"I barely had to raise her," she said with a laugh. "She was smarter than me at age three."

"That has very little to do with it," said Sheldon. "If nothing else a young genius needs more nurturing and direction then most. Many parents are not equipped to deal with a mind like Zoe's, it's frightening and intimidating. Zoe is incredibly lucky…assuming one believes in such a thing."

"Well," said Penny with a light hearted laugh. "You know, between the three of youI had plenty of practice taking care of geniuses. I was well prepared."

"Nonsense," said Sheldon. "It is hardly equivalent. Zoe is much smarter than they are."

Penny let out a laugh, a genuine Penny laugh and it warmed Sheldon that he still had the ability to do that.

When they arrived at Penny's house, Jake's car was still gone.  
"He's out awful late," said Sheldon looking at his watch. Penny looked at him with an amused look.

"We're just getting back too."

"I suppose so," he consented, but he could see the strange look in Penny's eyes. She suddenly looked sad again. He offered to help her into the house, but she declined.

"Goodnight Sheldon," she said unbuckling her seat belt.

"Goodnight Penny," he returned, his voice low and slightly twangy. Penny leaned over in her seat and kissed him on the cheek. She couldn't help herself, it may be the last time she would have a chance. She hurried out of the car, gathered Zoe in her arms and made her way slowly up to her house. It didn't feel like home. She felt like she was walking away from home and each step hurt.

She could feel those piercing blue eyes following her up to the door, waiting to make sure she got in safely, clear blue questioning eyes.

If the question was "what the hell are you doing", the question that she was asking herself right now, then she didn't have an answer.


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are the best ever! Thanks soo much! I am having such a great time writing this! I know it's not as happy or funny as the show but I just love writing Sheldon as a daddy __ Anyway, hope you enjoy the next installment. There will be at least one more chapter after this, but I'm not sure how much more! The story is drawing to a close!_

As soon as the door opened to him, it seemed Zoe flew into his arms.

"Come on daddy," she said in a soft whisper, clearly upset. "Let's go…mommy told me to ahead."

Sheldon was surprised when her arms didn't loosen right away. He just turned and carried the little girl toward the car.

He buckled her in, checked to make sure the belt was secure, and then got into the car himself, it was not until then that he asked what was wrong. He assumed they were far enough into their father-daughter relationship for him to inquire after issues of concern.

"They are fighting a lot," she said. "Even more than before, it was so loud. Mommy tried to calm him down but he's so upset at her."

"Why," asked Sheldon calmly.

"Because…he doesn't like that she went to Halo Night. Then she told me to go to my room, I could tell she was getting angry She doesn't like it when I see that. But I could still here them. He was yelling a lot."

Sheldon looked with concern at the house.

"Is she going to be all right?"

He felt guilt for being the course of her current marital strife, and angry at Jake for yelling at her merely for spending time with her friends, as if he owner her. If he knew Penny she wouldn't stand for that, recalling the time Penny and Leonard had a fought about the musician sleeping on Penny's couch.

"I think so," said Zoe. "Of course, I hate that he hurts her feelings , it makes me mad. But she is usually able to calm him down fairly well."

Sheldon did not like the sound of that.

"Does he often fly into fits of jealous rage?"

"The occurrence has been steadily increasing in number over the past week. It doesn't help that he's gone all the time. Don't tell mommy I know, but I assume she thinks he's cheating on her."

Sheldon looked at her in shock. Adultery was an awful heavy topic for a 6-year-old to be speaking of so flippantly.

"Why would you assume that?"

"Just by the way she acts. She's sad, and I can tell she doesn't believe him when he says he's going out with his "guys". She hasn't said anything to me, of course, but I can tell."

Sheldon cleared his throat and nodded.

Poor Penny. Hadn't she been happily married? Hadn't she finally found the life she deserved? What had changed?

…oh yes…him.

He seemed to be making a habit of screwing up Penny's life.

XXX

More than a few people passed Dr. Coopers office and did a double take that day at the university. Sheldon stood by his board, pondering over an equation. This, of course, was not out of the ordinary. What was the little girl sitting in at Dr. Cooper's desk, a beautiful little miniature of him, as anyone could tell by looking, though few would believe it. She was furiously writing, going over equations. While she was not at the level of her father, she could help him by doing smaller equations and figuring out masses of the various particles, saving Sheldon precious time.

"You know father," said Zoe. 'This could be in violation of child labor laws."

"Nonsense," he said, not looking from the board. "I'm not paying you."

Zoe smiled and laughed.

"Oh yes, that's right."

"Dr…Dr. Cooper," interrupted shy, quiet voice. Zoe looked up to see the girl in the doorway, Sheldon didn't even look. This was why he told them he didn't want to be a teacher, students were always pestering you. And right now he was busy. Busy figuring out the secrets of the universe…busy making new discoveries…busy figuring out how to convince his ex-girlfriend and mother of his child to leave her new husband and come back to him. He couldn't be bothered.

"I'm sorry Dr. Cooper, I hate to interrupt, but…"

Sheldon held up a hand to silence her. She let out a squeak and stepped back. Zoe rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry," said Zoe, to the girl. "He thinks he's about to make a Nobel Prize winning discovery…but maybe I can help you."

Sheldon turned slowly to observe as the student nodded cautiously and took a careful step toward the desk. He watched as Zoe looked over the papers and patiently answered the girl's questions and explained various concepts. It was odd to see these two sides of Zoe in play at the same time. The genius of Sheldon and the caring and patients of Penny, and their seemed to be no inner conflict for Zoe. They worked in tandem so easily…so why hadn't he and Penny been able to manage that?

XXX

Sheldon was loathed to take Zoe home. She clearly did not want to return, but what choice did he have, aside from kidnapping her, which he considered for a moment, but realize unless he could kidnap Penny as well, this would not solve his problem

When they pulled up in front of the house, Zoe looked at Sheldon.

"Daddy," she said. "What if I can't see you anymore?"

The thought clearly pained her, but not as much as it did him, but he didn't consider it.

"Well, first, he doesn't get to decide that," said Sheldon. "You're mother does. And second…I won't allow it."

He had no idea how, he was not in the habit of making groundless claims, but he knew no matter what it took, he would not allow that to happen.

Zoe nodded taking his assurance to heart. It seemed to assuage her fears a git as she began to unbuckle and jump out of the car.

Sheldon followed suit. He took a few steps before he noticed the hand grab his and not let go. Zoe at most would squeeze his hand, but this time she didn't let go. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she was a child, something that he was, at the moment, keenly aware of. It was also easy for him to forget he was just a father, but right now as he battled the urge to throw caution to the wind and hit the road with his daughter in tow, he was keenly aware of that as well.

Sheldon did not even have a chance to knock on the door before it swung open to reveal a disheveled and tired looking Penny. He could see the dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, her nails were bit down short, and he clothes looked unkept and a few sizes too big.

"Mommy," said Zoe sweetly, hugging her around the legs. Sheldon observed the instant effect it had on Penny and she seemed to brighten up a bit, but her smile didn't reach her eyes, so he knew it wasn't completely genuine. Penny caressed Zoe's head sweetly.

"Hi sweety," she said, her voice worn and strained.

"Zoe," said Sheldon, aware that he may be overstepping his boundaries, but he had to say something. "Would you excuse us for a moment?"

She nodded and went into the house without a word of protest. Penny looked at Sheldon when she was gone, he could tell she was already on the defensive.

"What is it Sheldon," she asked. Sheldon considered his words carefully but continued on.

"I don't want to interfere Penny but…"

"Then don't," she said, a little harsher then she intended, but Sheldon knew she was under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment.

"I'm sorry Penny I am just concerned for you current situation. I know I have no right to question you but I am concerned for the well being of both you and Zoe. I understand that there has been some tension…"

"Sheldon," she snapped. "I'm going to stop you right now because you're right, you have no right to discuss this kind of thing with me. Jake and I have just been fighting a little, it's what married people do, it's a part of having a committed relationship." Her words were sharp and pointed and Sheldon could see the look of regret that flickered across her face as soon as she spoke. He didn't blame her, it was all true. But it broke his heart to see the look of defeat come over her face.

"I'm sorry Sheldon," she said, looking down. "Please just..just go…"

Her eyes were shiny with tears. Sheldon wanted to stay, to hug her and hold her, but he didn't. He just nodded.

"As you wish," he said.

"Thank you," she returned stepping back and readying to shut the door. "And she'll call you soon Sheldon," she added, with a nod of assurance. Sheldon felt himself falling more and more for her, here she was, a tired and broken mess because of him, and she was assuring him that he would still see Zoe again.

After she shut the door, Penny watched him walk away through the peep hole, and the tears finally fell as she turned and slid down the door and onto the floor.

"Mommy," came the quiet voice. Penny looked up at quickly wiped away the tears.

"Yeah baby?"

Zoe stepped closer to her and stood next to her, a hand on her shoulder.

"You know, one of the advantages to having a child genius is I can tell that you're upset whether you cry or not…so don't hold back tears on my expense, I know you're upset."

Penny smiled but the tears suddenly were pouring out of her eyes. Zoe moved closer to her and allowed her to be pulled into her mother's tight embrace as she cried silently into her daughter's hair.

XXX

He had dropped Zoe off at home four hours ago, and hadn't left his computer since returning home. The background check on Jake took a few hours, and the rest had been devoted to desperately searching any rights he may have to Zoe.

While he respected Penny, and trusted her, if Zoe's home life was taking any significant negative toll on Zoe he wanted desperately to be able to do something. But he found that there was nothing he could do. He had screwed himself out of the perfect life, with the perfect woman and the perfect daughter….screwed himself right into the wall.

He kept trying to distract himself with science but he couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes to think, he saw Zoe and Penny. Zoe clinging to his hand, not wanting to go home ,wanting to stay with him, just like her mother had. And he saw Penny, her sad, broken look. She was clearly unhappy, and he couldn't believe that he had once been the source of that look, and he couldn't have cared less. He had been a robot…everyone had been right.

But things had changed. He was different. So different that he didn't care that his equation remained unfinished on his board as he desperately searched for some legal right he had to intervene.

Days passed this way. Sheldon didn't leave his apartment, and he never turned his phone off. He didn't want to miss a call. He was constantly checking his phone, turning it on and off again, making sure he still had a signal. He didn't like not hearing from Zoe, especially the way they had parted ways, with her being so scared that she would not see him again. He didn't answer the several calls from Leonard asking why he had missed Thai food night, vintage game nigh and pizza night. He was busy, and on the verge of driving over there and demanding to see her, and likely have an officer escort him off the premises.

His nightmare routine had also been thrown off. It was almost midnight and he hadn't even begun his nighttime rituals yet. He was busy, and everyone knew that when Sheldon set his mind to something it consumed his entire being. So much so that he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard an urgent knocking on the door, to urgent and paniced to belong to just anyone.

He got up and without even looking through the peep hole (goodness, he was sleep deprived) threw open the door.

Penny stood in front of him, holding a shaking and tearful Zoe close to her. Both were dressed in night clothes.

"Sheldon," she said, out of breathe. "I'm so…sorry…we need a place to stay tonight."

Sheldon could see her battling to keep it together as she held her child to her. But it was impossible for her to hide her distress or the tears threatening to surface.

Without a word, he moved out of her way and cleared a path for her to enter. She didn't even look at him again for a while. She went straight to his room and shut the door. He could hear Zoe crying and it provoked a deep and primal feeling of anger within him. He supposed that was a biological necessity to feel when one's offspring was upset. But that scientific fact did not decrease the effects of the emotion.

He waited patiently for what felt like hours for Penny to work her motherly magic. He heard Penny's gentle, soothing voice whispering to Zoe. Then he heard Penny singing to her.

"Warm Kitty, soft kitty little ball of fur…"  
Zoe's voice joined in at that point and the finished in a round. Zoe had said that was hers and Penny's song…he supposed he could lend it to them.

When the song finished, he could hear shuffling inside his room and then the door opened. Penny didn't say anything at first, just closed the door and joined him on the couch. She sat in silence for a moment. Sheldon opened his mouth to speak but then Penny's voice bit through.

"That son of a bitch," she said through gritted teeth. "That goddamned asshole…."

Sheldon could see her digging her fingers into the couch.

"Penny what…"

"He came home tonight...drunk off his ass, reeking of beer and perfume that wasn't mine, complimented well with the red lipstick on his collar."  
"Penny," he said. "I'm sorry…"

"That's fine! I don't even give a shit about that right now. He started screaming at me that I've been cheating on him and that I needed to realize how lucky I was to have found someone who would take me and Zoe because most men "won't touch a woman with a kid."

"That's absurd," said Sheldon. "For one…"

"I don't even care about that," spat Penny. "The bastard then continued to accuse me of trying to keep Zoe from him by letting her spend time with you and that she belonged to him, that _we_ belonged to him. He went bat-shit crazy and started screaming that he wouldn't let me steal his daughter from him…" She looked at him, eyes brilliant and firey, clouded with tears of anger and heartbreak for her child. "He scared her Sheldon. I've never seen Zoe so scared, she's never needed to be. He stormed into her room and woke her up. He grabbed her and said that he was leaving with his kid…that she belonged to him…son of a bitch was going to take her."

Penny suddenly stood to her feet, her anger pulsing through her giving her adrenaline.

"I need a drink," she said standing and going over to the fridge.

"I'm afraid I have no alcohol but I would be happy to…"

His eyes suddenly got sight of the back of her head and he was on his feet and standing behind her in a moment. Her hair was matted with blood.

"Penny you're injured," he said. She looked up at him confused and then felt the back of her head, she looked down at her fingers to see they were now crimson.

"Hmmm…will you look at that?"

Sheldon felt that surge of anger again.

"Come along," he said, leading her into the bathroom. He could feel his eyes on her as he moved around. First he took out his phone.

"Turn," he said sternly, though no harshly. She obeyed. He gently brushed the hair to reveal a gash in her head. He realized that it wasn't as bad as it looked, rationally he knew that head injuries bled more, she wasn't hurt that badly, but he was seeing red, and it wasn't her blood.

He drew a breathe forcing himself to stay calm as he took pictures of the injury. He would use this later, whether Penny wanted him to or not. He didn't want either of them to return to Jake, but he would not allow Zoe to, whether he had to break the law or not. He took several photos then proceeded to doctor the wound.

"Now,' he said as he dabbed gently at the wound trying to clean her scalp. "What happened that caused this?"

"Well like I said, he was taking her and about to leave with her. I tried to stop him but he pushed me away hard and I hit my head on our coffee table," she said this flippantly, it clearly did not bother her too much, her motherly instinct to protect her child took precedent.

"How did you stop him," he asked.  
"I couldn't think straight," she said. "I could hear her screaming and fighting and crying and I just…I took out a bat and…"

"Went all Nebraska on his ass," finished Sheldon with a drawl.

She smiled slightly despite the circumstances.

"Yeah…yeah, I hit him once, took Zoe and left, pretty sure he was alive, he was swearing and yelling at me from the house.

"Good. I'm glad you hit him."

Sheldon pulled her gently to her feet and squatted next to the tub pulling her down with him. He ran the water, running his hands under the flow making sure it was an appropriate temperature. When he was satisfied he instructed her to lean forward so that she was looking down in the tub her wound facing Sheldon. He gently began to wash her hair.

Penny felt a lump form in her throat as his gently fingers massaged her scalp and washed away the blood. It didn't matter that she was getting the tub dirty, it didn't matter that it was late and his routine had been disrupted. He was helping her without a word of protest. It overwhelmed her.

"There," he said, checking his work. "It looks better."

Penny nodded and stood to her feet. Sheldon handed her a towel.

"Be careful not to disturb the bandages…I'll leave you for a moment."

He assumed she would want some time alone, to breathe, wash her face, whatever she wanted. The first thing he did was to pick up the phone. He didn't care what Penny thought on this matter, he was calling the police and reporting him.

Penny had no problem with this. In fact, she seemed to appreciate the initiative. What she did not appreciate was waiting up for officers to arrive so that she could make a statement and file a complaint. Sheldon drew their attention to her head and showed them pictures of the gash before he mended it. By the time they had finished and he had made Penny about 15 cups of coffee, the kitchen was a mess. After the task of speaking to the police was completed, he started to clean. It was then that he noticed he was shaking. When he heard the story again from Penny, he had nothing to be distracted with and the anger had been growing ever since.

"Honey…"

He spun around, dropping the coffee grounds onto the floor.

"Oh…I'm sorry," she said going onto her knees to begin cleaning.

"Penny," he said.

She remained on the floor desperately trying to gather up the coffee grounds.

"Penny," he repeated. "It's fine. Don't concern yourself with it"

Penny looked up at the man towering over her, her lip was trembling. She had been scared too, she looked terrified, and, worst of all guilty.

"Shit," she said throwing down the grounds she had gathered and leaning back against the counter, silent sobs racking her body. "How could I be so stupid," she said.

Sheldon assumed it was a rhetorical question, and then slowly sat down on his dirty floor next to her, germs and coffee grounds be damned.

"How could I let a man who would do that into my life, into my child's life? I thought he was good," she said, her voice breaking and her head slumping forward in despair. "I really did Sheldon. He seemed to love Zoe and me so much, he didn't care that I had a kid, and then he…I didn't know he would do this."

She turned her head and it rested on his shoulder. He didn't recoil of pull away but rather lifted his arm and draped it over her shoulder and nudged her closer. This was the only encouragement she needed before she was practically sitting in his lap, her face buried in his neck, her hot tears scorching his skin.

He had wanted her back, but he didn't want this. He didn't want her to blame herself, to feel guilt, or pain, or hurt, or to be afraid, or to question her ability to trust after the second man she loved had betrayed her. 

"There, there," he said, his voice low and his hand held against the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. "It's okay. Sheldon's here."

XXX

The next morning Sheldon awoke on the couch, Penny's head in his lap. They had fallen asleep that way. When she had worn herself out from crying, he practically dragged her to the couch where she the two of them had fallen asleep. He stood up, careful not to disrupt her and began the task of cleaning his kitchen. In the moment he didn't care about the coffee grounds all over his floor, but now it was bothering him greatly. He set out to diligently sweep every last coffee ground when, once again, he was interrupted by the sound of loud knocking.

Sheldon rolled his eyes and walked over to the door. He looked through the peep hole to see an angry Jake looking at him. This man must really be an idiot. This was not going to help his case to the police. He wasn't even frightened, more than anything, he was angry.

He opened the door and starred down Jake.

"What are you doing here," Sheldon asked, voice clearly indicative of his mood.

"Are Penny and my daughter here?"

"Penny is here and her daughter Zoe is here, yes."

"And did that bitch really call the police, " he asked, his voice raising. Sheldon looked back quickly to make sure that Penny was still asleep before stepping forward and all but pushing Jake into the hall and closing the door quietly behind him. He knew he had very little physical strength, but Jake did not, furthermore he was aware of the effects of anger and adrenaline on a person's physical capabilities.

"No," said Sheldon angrily. "I actually did, and I assume you posted bail, what a shame."

"Listen Shelly if you think that I am going to just let that happen after all I did for that woman, I was the only man that would have anything to do with that single mother and…

Sheldon let out a scoffing laugh.

"You are neither a man nor did you do anything for her. You were incredibly lucky that she allowed you to be in her life, it is not the opposite. But…" he said stepping closer. "You never cared for her did you? You picked her because you assumed a single mother such as her would be needy and dependent upon you, the perfect woman for you to take advantage of. You didn't love her, you owned her, and she never saw it before because she never gave you a reason. But you are nothing more than a sad, pathetic, jealous little boy."  
Jake looked at him angrily but said nothing in return.

"And furthermore," continued Sheldon, who was on a roll at this point. "If you lay another hand on Penny or ever dream of laying a hand on Zoe, I swear to the God to whom my mother puts so much faith in, that you will regret it."

"Really," said Jake. "What's that supposed to mean string bean?"

"It means that I am a physicist, and have an understanding of things you could never dream of understanding. I know what acids are most corrosive, which poisons are undetectable, how to make many things look like accidents…I spent many hours daydreaming ways to exact vengeance on childhood bullies and there is nothing I would like more then to put one into practice."

Jake couldn't hide the slight flicker of fear in his eyes which he tried to cover with a sneer.

"Whatever," he said with a sneer. "Tell Penny this isn't over…freak…" he turned and walked down the hall. Sheldon narrowed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples but Jake turned the corner with his head intact.

"Damn," he muttered. He turned to open the door but it opened on his own. Penny was standing the doorway, a smile on her face.

"You're um…husband was here, I told him that you didn't want to see him…I'm sorry that he woke you."

Penny's smile grew wider and then with sudden impulse that reminded him very much of Zoe and of old Penny she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, laughing softly in his ear. He found his hands found her waist easier than they ever had before.


	9. Chapter 9

When Zoe awoke the next morning it was a bit past her usual wake up time, but she was always good at adjusting to such things. And after the ordeal that was last night she was in need of an extra hour or too. She had been very frightened in the moment. Looking back, it was indeed a rational reaction, considering a large, drunken and jealous man had rousted her from her warm bed in the middle of night and was carrying her away from her screaming mother, that was…mildly disturbing. She would get over it though; right now she was concerned about her mother. While she was a strong, incredibly capable and confident woman, as well as an able caregiver, Zoe couldn't imagine the spectrum of emotions she was going through. Zoe, while more aware of her emotions then her father, was not like her mother. Zoe knew that Penny felt everything very deeply and her emotions were never surface. Zoe could not imagine how exhausting that would be. Furthermore, she knew that she would now be feeling anger, regret, sadness, fear, uncertainty, and, probably worst of all, guilt.

Her mother was always there for her, no matter what. She would be a poor excuse for a child genius if she didn't help her mother in her time of need. But when Zoe opened the door, she found someone had already beaten her to it. Her mother was standing in the kitchen next to her father, and they both seemed so perfectly content. They weren't chatting, or laughing, but they were toeing and frowing about the kitchen and around each other in perfect rhythm as they prepared breakfast.

Zoe had known for a long time, before Penny even met Jake and before Zoe had met her real father that Penny would never love another man like she did him. They had a "connection", if one believes in that sort of thing.

Zoe watched them for a few more seconds before opening the door.

"Good morning beautiful," greeted Penny. Sheldon turned around to see Zoe then looked back at Penny, who had not even turned around. He supposed it was true; mother's had eyes on the back of their head. Sheldon watched as Zoe gave Penny the once over, making certain that she was in a stable state. He recognized that look; he had been looking at Penny that way all morning. Not because Penny was floundering, but, rather, she seemed to be a little too alright. While he was happy that she was not weeping, he did not want her to crack under the pressure and to find her crouched over a loom, or a glow in the dark fish…that would crazy. He settled on allowing her to enjoy the calm for now, there would be plenty of turmoil to come, he would enjoy it to.

"We're making pancake," said Penny happily.

"Yes I can see that," said Zoe. "But it's scrambled egg day."

"Nooo," said Sheldon, shaking his head. "It's pancake day. It's been pancake day since I was 6 years old."

"Well it's been scrambled egg day since I was 3," said Zoe.

"That was 3 years ago hardly a considerable amount of time."

"Fine," said Zoe. "I can be mature and settle for pancake."

"Of course you will," said Sheldon. "The only other option would be to starve."

Zoe accepted the plate of pancakes from Sheldon with a smile before going to the table.

"Real mature," said Penny teasingly to Sheldon. "Picking on a 6-year-old."

"She needs to the lesson now," said Sheldon. "You don't always get what you want."

Penny laughed and shook her head as she passed him a plate.

"Eat your pancakes," she said.

Sheldon obeyed, joining Zoe at the table.

"She's bossy in the kitchen," said Zoe quietly to Sheldon.

"I have to be," said Penny. "Because_ somebody_ can't be within 10 feet of a kitchen without giving an opinion."

"Does she mean you or me," asked Sheldon. Zoe pointed to him, mouth filled with pancakes.

Penny soon joined them at the table. After a few minutes of small talk, Zoe broached the subject of what had occurred last night.

"Tell me mommy," said Zoe. "What is our plan?"

"Plan?"

"Yes, plan. I have nothing here. Are we returning home soon? Will Jake be present? What will our future relationship be with him?

Before Penny could speak, Sheldon cut in.

"I took the liberty of purchasing an outfit for each of you this morning so you have something to wear until we could retrieve your things. Today Penny will be returning to your house with escorts to retrieve some of your things. And you both will stay with me until all this is settled." He then looked at Penny who had not been completely aware of this either when she did not interrupt he assumed she was okay with the plan. Zoe then looked at Penny for the rest of the plan.

"As far as our future relationship with Jake, tell me what you would like Zoe?"

Zoe thought for a moment.

"Well, while I seem to have had at one point some daughterly affection for him, most of my attachment was due to the fact that you seemed to love him. But given the circumstances, the adultery and brutalization, not to mention the attempted kidnapping, I have no strong desire to continue a relationship with him."

Sheldon was relieved to hear this, and hoped Penny shared Zoe's feelings. She was looking at her daughter; Sheldon once again saw the same heartbreaking guilt in her eyes.

"Good," said Penny. "Because I plan for any immediate interactions with him to be divorce proceedings."

Zoe nodded, satisfied with this.

"I'm sorry Zoe," said Penny, sadly. "I'm sorry this happened. I was so stupid. I did think I loved him and I thought he loved us but I was wrong and I'm sorry that you had to pay for that."

Penny's eyes had filled with tears as she spoke. Zoe reached across the table and held Penny's hand, looking at her with sympathetic blue eyes.

"Mommy," said Zoe. "I'm okay. You have performed admirably. From what I hear about these things, many women who have controlling and abusive husbands find themselves unable to leave, putting not only themselves but their children in danger. You went junior rodeo on his ass…"

Penny attempted a scolding look at Zoe for her language but her laugh made that difficult. Sheldon was relieved Zoe's words had calmed Penny; he had no desire to see Penny cry on account of that brute anymore.

XXX

"So you did not tell me that "escorts" meant Leonard, Howard and Raj," said Zoe as she and Sheldon walked to an open area in the park, both with kite's in hand.

"Who else?"

"I don't know, I was just imagining someone more imposing I suppose."

"I have the utmost faith in them, and perhaps too much faith in the hope that Jake is smart enough to stay away from her…this spot is good."

Zoe nodded and examined her kit.

"So we fight with these?"

"In theory," he answered. "Right now I'll just show you some of the basics. Leonard has always been a mediocre partner and I've been looking for a replacement.

Zoe nodded. Soon enough their kites were soaring above the park, with Sheldon giving her the occasionally tip on how to make her kite tip and turn. They flew in silent tranquility for a moment before it was interrupted.

"Are you certain you all right," he asked her awkwardly, he was not good at this.

Zoe looked at him.

"Surprisingly, yes. I understand I should be going through a period of emotional distress at losing my father figure. I suppose for the past few months you have been my father. It makes it less difficult of a transition I think. Jake was fine but I don't know that he ever understood me. He enjoyed the novelty of having a genius daughter but I don't think it was ideal."

Sheldon nodded, of course he did. Jake was the type of man who would love having a pet like Zoe to show off.

"And your mother, how will she be?"

"She'll be fine. She, of course, will be hit hard by this. She is an incredibly capable and able woman, but being abandoned by two men in the past few years cannot do much for self-esteem or trust issues, but she will bounce back."

Sheldon noted the way she brushed over his separation of Penny. There was no malice or judgment, just a plain statement of fact. Zoe observed Sheldon for a moment.

"She never stopped you know,' said Zoe. "Not really."

"What are you talking about?"

"Loving you," said Zoe, giving her kite a flick. "She cried over you because she missed you, she did even when she was with Jake. My middle name is Lee, she encouraged my love off physics, she liked seeing you in me, I think."

Sheldon nodded, unsure of what to say. Zoe was like him in that she was bracingly honest.

"Just give her time daddy," she said with a smile. "She'll come around."

She whipped her kite around his and gave a quick tug, cutting his string and sending his kite fluttering to the ground.

XXX

Sheldon was surprised by how quickly Zoe and Penny became a part of his routine. They were there when he awoke, when he came back from work, they ate dinner together, watched TV together, played game, hung out with Raj, Leonard and Howard, and Sheldon felt no impending doom, no sensation of wall closing in, no suffocation. In fact, it seemed so natural, why hadn't he been doing this all along?

For Penny's part, she was shocked and touched at Sheldon's entire response to their presence. When she returned from her home with just a few suitcases, he insisted that she return to get more of hers and Zoe's things. When she returned back to the apartment, she found that Sheldon had turned his study into a room for Zoe. Her mattress, her things, her books were all there

"I know she's particular about where things are so I'll leave arrangement to her. We can move another mattress in here if you'd like…we should probably look into getting a bed for Zoe…or you may have my bed until other arrangements can be made."

Penny smiled and told him the couch was just fine. He looked skeptical and muttered something about lumbar support but left it at that.

Of all the situations Penny pictured herself a few months ago; this was not at the top. They were almost like a little family, a weird quirky family made up of geniuses and her.

XXX

Sheldon jumped when Penny stormed into the apartment. Her face was angry , her entire body shaking.

"Penny…you're home late…"

"Jake is such an asshole," she said through gritted teeth throwing her purse onto the couch and sitting.

Sheldon nodded calmly.

"I agree."

"Is Zoe in bed?"

"Yes…she was quite worn out. We took her paint balling today."

"She's a good shot," said Penny with a smile. Sheldon nodded in agreement, set his markers down and then sat next to her.

"Would you like to discuss what is upsetting you?"

"No," she said angrily, but he knew it was not toward him.

"Very well then," he said, making a move to stand.

"Do you know what that bastard is trying to pull?"

"Oh..." Sheldon sat back down she was so hard to keep up with.

"Something like alienation of affection…."

"Forgive me but isn't he the one who cheated on you?"

She nodded.

"I know but he's saying I cheated with you and that's what drove him to it."

"That's nonsense."

"I know, my lawyer says that it's pretty weak but he's…he is saying he wants Zoe. He's going to try and take her. I didn't even want him to get visitation rights at all, what if he…"

"Penny," said Sheldon, nipping the thought in the bud. "You're lawyer is right. Do not let this scare you…"

"Sheldon he's vicious, he'll say and do anything, make up anything and pay anyone…"

"Penny you've hired an excellent lawyer, you are Zoe's blood relative giving you a significant upper hand."

"I know…I'm being silly, he just…he scared me and I'm so mad."

Her voice rose at the end. She was frustrated. Sheldon couldn't blame her. The entire situation was frustrating. If he had just not been an idiot six years ago they would've been spared all of this nonsense.

"I'm sorry Sheldon," she said wearily. "I know I'm being moody and difficult."

"That is absurd. You are handling an amazing amount of pressure with grace and poise."

She smiled her thanks but didn't say anything. She was upset, whether it would happen or not, the risk of losing Zoe at all had wreaked havoc on her already frayed nerves.

"Penny," said Sheldon, seeing that she was not completely at ease. "I promise you, no one is going to take our…your child from you Penny."

Penny looked at him, her green eyes bore into him. She knew he was not in the habit of making promises he couldn't keep and she knew that if Sheldon Cooper said something it was true.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Sheldon nodded. The two sat on the couch in silence, neither of them certain how to proceed. Sheldon then slapped his knees awkwardly and stood.

"All righty," he said. "I suppose we both need rest. I'll leave you to that."

Sheldon saw the look in her eyes, the look Zoe had given him over and over again when he dropped her off, disappointment.

"Okay," she said, her voice reflecting her disappointment. "Good night Sheldon."

Sheldon stopped his trek to his room and turned back around. Penny looked at him; he stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

"Penny," he said cautiously. "I don't want you to misinterpret my actions as any attempt to take advantage of your emotionally compromised state in the hopes of achieving coitus." Penny laughed softly. "But you are welcome to share my bed width me tonight if you wish. If I remember correctly, and I do, when you are upset being alone never helps, you prefer a friendly presence. So if you desire companionship you may share my bed with me."

Penny smiled softly and shook her head in amusement. He was so different but still so…him. It was throwing her through so many loops.

"Okay," she said. Her voice answered before her brain had told her too. She was busy pondering the ups and downs to this, how complicated it could make things, but the fact was she wanted to. She didn't want sex; she just wanted to be close to him. She had missed him so much it hurt and she never thought she would have another chance.

Sheldon nodded. The two separated in order to change into their bed clothes. When Penny entered his room, she found Sheldon pulling down the blankets on her side of the bed, or what had always been her side before.

He motioned her over. Penny obeyed and sat down on the bed. Sheldon carefully and meticulously began to tuck her in, like he had done when she had been hurt, and a few times when she had been sick. She had to bite back tears as he tenderly pulled the blankets around her and made sure she was comfortable.

Then he moved around the bed and lay down in bed next to her. He moved carefully, clearly nervous. Penny almost laughed, he had acted this way the first time they had shared a bed together all those years ago, it was like sharing a bed with a wood board.

After a few moments, Sheldon felt himself begin to calm down, and it wasn't until he was almost asleep that he noticed why, the soft circular motion of Penny's thumb over the top of his clenched hand.


	10. Chapter 10

"What is going on here?"

Penny awoke with a start, shooting up in bed in a slight panic to find Zoe standing at the end of the bed, arms crossed and eyebrow raised over a gaze fixed on her parents. It took Penny a moment to remember where she was, when she did she rolled her eyes and rolled over.

"Sweety," she said again, patting Sheldon's arm. He didn't respond.

"Sweety," she repeated a little louder and shaking him hard. Penny yelped slightly when Sheldon shot up in bed.

"Danger…danger…" he looked around in a panic before he noticed Zoe and then he looked very embarrassed.

"Don't worry daddy," said Zoe. "She's done much worse with much stupider."

Penny threw her pillow at Zoe who yelped and dropped to the floor, dodging it.

"Well, maybe I won't share the delicious French toast I made," she said with a laugh. She turned and skipped out of the room leaving the two of them alone.

"We may benefit by installing a lock on the door for future use," said Sheldon getting out of bed and shuffling to the bathroom.

Penny lay her head back down on the pillow for a moment, a small smile playing at her lips basking in the glow of that one word…"future."

000000000000

That day Zoe accompanied Sheldon to work as Penny was up to her ears in stress. She was now running a store on her own, while simultaneously going through a bitter divorce, one that was working out in her favor. Jake was quickly finding he had little to no case, and his ruthless attempts to paint Penny as an adulterous devil of a mother were falling through. All the same, it was dragging on, causing Penny more stress than either Zoe or Sheldon cared to see her in.

And it was by no means a burden for Sheldon to have Zoe around. He was working busily at his board while she was reading a comic book at his desk. It was quiet and peaceful.

"You should take mommy on a date," said Zoe, not looking up from the pages of her comic book. Sheldon did not immediately respond, he stood staring at the board and then capped his marker and set it aside.

"Why do you suppose that?"

"Because she's working all the time and stressed out. It would make her feel better. I doubt that I will ever find significant joy from heels and a dress but I know mommy does. Plus, Jake didn't take her out much except for when he wanted to show off to his friends. So I think she'd like it."

Sheldon paused to consider this for a moment.

"Do you think she'll say yes," he finally asked, slightly nervous.

"Yes daddy," she said patiently, as she sighed and shook her head. "Sometimes you both can be so dumb."

Sheldon took a moment to look offended but continued to consider what Zoe was saying.

'Well," he said. "What should I do?"

"I don't know daddy, of the two of us you are the only one who has previous experience romancing my mother, so I would adhere to your expertise."

Sheldon thought for a moment, Zoe could see the wheels in his head start turning.

"Alright," he said. "Come along."

"Where are we going," asked Zoe jumping down from her seat.

"We have some work to do."

Sheldon and Zoe left the office, unfinished equations abandoned…some things were more important.

0000000000000

Penny came in that night exhausted, dropping her bag by the door and kicking off her shoes, she did not have a moment to breathe before Zoe ran out into the living room.

"Mommy…mommy…" she said grabbing her hand. "Come along."

"Where are we going?"

"You're room, you have to get ready."

Penny allowed herself to be led to Sheldon's room, not putting up a fight.

"Ready for what"

Zoe didn't answer. She merely shut the door behind them. Penny didn't speak for a moment. On her bed was a beautiful new dress, a beautiful emerald green dress, and, best of all, a new pair of shoes that worked beautifully with the dress.

Zoe smiled as she watched her mother's face light up.

"Do you like it," asked Zoe.

Penny felt her voice choke in her throat.

"Yes," she said. "It's perfect."

Zoe smiled and nodded excitedly.

"Okay, we have to do your hair and your make-up! We don't have much time."

Penny didn't argue.

0000000000

Zoe waited patiently on the bed while her mother got ready. She was shocked when her mother appeared, looking beautiful after 10 minutes. Zoe beamed at her mother, who looked stunning in her new dress. Her mother could make herself look perfect in ten minutes, and people said Zoe was the genius.

"How do I look," asked Penny with a smile, twirling in front of her daughter.

"So beautiful mommy," she said, standing up. When the doorbell rang, Penny looked confused at Zoe who looked excited. The two of them left the room and went to the front door. Penny didn't know whether to laugh or cry when she opened the door. Sheldon was standing at the door, clothed in a suit, one that he remembered she had liked when they were dating.

"Umm…hi," said Penny.

"Hello," he said. He stood there, awkwardly for a moment, uncertain of what to do. "Do you…would you like to go on a date?"

Penny laughed happily and nodded.

"I would love to."

He sighed in relief, half expecting her to say no.

"Thank you for the dress and the shoes," said Penny. Sheldon looked her up in down in it. For some reason, this made her blush. She inwardly rolled her eyes, this man had put a baby in her and right now just a look from his was making her blush like a school girl.

He nodded.

"I thought you might like it better then flowers."

"You were right."

The two stood awkwardly for a moment, neither of them certain how to proceed.

God, thought Penny. It's just like a first date, with all the awkwardness.

"Well I suppose we should be going," he said. "I made reservations."

"What about Zoe," asked Penny.

"Oh yes," said Penny, he stuck his head out the door and whistled.

"We are not dogs," came Howard's irritated voice from outside. Penny heard shuffling feet from behind Sheldon as the three nerds came up the stairs, Howard holding boxes of pizza.

"I have baby-sitters."

"Yeah, free baby-sitters," said Howard grumpily.

"Thank you guys," said Penny with a grateful smile.

Leonard smiled and nodded at her.

"You guys have a good time."

"We shall," said Sheldon. "Now come along."

Penny naturally slid her arm through his and allowed him to lead her toward the door.

"Oh I forgot something," said Howard turning toward Penny and taking her free hand in his and giving her a kiss on the hand. "May I say fair Penny, child or not your ass has never looked better."

Sheldon glared angrily at him, but Penny seemed almost pleased as she looked over her shoulder.

"Ahh thanks Howard," she said before her face grew serious. "But if you don't stop looking at my ass I am going to have to bust a cap in yours."

He backed away palms up in surrender.

Sheldon did not look amused as he led Penny out the door, when the door was closed Sheldon turned to Penny and looked her up and down once again.

"You do look perfect," he said. It was less a compliment then a mere statement of fact, which made her appreciate it even more. Penny grinned up at him and gently felt the fabric of his suit.

"You clean up good yourself, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon looked cast his eyes down in embarrassment.

"Now come on," said Penny, pulling him toward the car with giddy excitement.

00000000000000000000

"People still do it Penny."

Penny looked up from her menu to see what he was talking about.

"Do what sweety?"

"Did you see the look both the valet and the host gave us when we arrived?"

"I did not," she said looking over the menu.

"It was disbelief as if I had no business being with you."

Penny smiled and lay her menu down.

"Did you think maybe they were thinking , "What's the dumb blonde doing with that beautiful-mind-genius-guy?"'

"…you aren't dumb Penny."

"And you are sexy in your charcoal suit, so what's the problem?"

Sheldon looked down, once again embarrassed.

"Anyway, I hardly have enough hope in the future that someone would recognize me on sight."

"Zoe did," she said.

"Yes well she's exceptional."

"She is isn't she," she said with a nod.

"…Hello, welcome to Café Spinoza's, my name is John and I…"

His voice faltered as he looked at them.

"See," said Sheldon, looking at Penny annoyed.

"Oh…my…god…" said the waiter, looking at Sheldon with utter glee in his eyes. "You…you are Dr. Sheldon Cooper, right?"

Sheldon looked at him, confused.

"Why, yes I am…but how did…"

"I'm a grad student, I just got accepted into Cal Tech. I picked Cal Tech because of you. I am such a huge fan, I've read everything you've ever written, all of your experiments…"

Penny laughed aloud as he did a little leap of excitement.

"Why thank you," said Sheldon, flustered and surprised.

"Would you like an autograph," asked Penny, turning her glowing smile from John to Sheldon.

"Could I?"

John handed him a pen and Sheldon scrawled his name onto the napkin on the table.

"Oh, I am sorry," he said. "I used this napkin already."

John snatched the napkin up.

"No this is perfect."

Penny looked at John sweetly.

"Now all you need is some healthy ovum and you can grow your own Sheldon Cooper."

John was speechless as he ran from the table holding the napkin closely.

"That kid is one step away from chopping off his own ear and sending it to you in the mail," said Penny with a laugh.

Sheldon was still enjoying the appreciation, but suddenly his face fell.

"Oh drat," he said. "He didn't take my order."

000000000000000000000

John returned in a much more professional state, took their order in fine fashion and the night progressed wonderfully. They made conversation, she asked about his work, he asked about Zoe.

It felt like a first date between people who had known each other for years, but, despite the lovely setting and the delicious food and her deep love for the man sitting across from her, Penny had feeling clawing at her contentedness, a nagging question that she had carried with her for years and one that she felt she deserved an answer too.

"Penny…Penny…"

Penny heard Sheldon's voice breaking through her reverie.

"Yes sweety?"

"I sense a change in the conversational climate."

Penny didn't want to bring it up, it was such a nice night, but she didn't know when she would get another chance and she needed to know.

"I…just…It doesn't…"

Sheldon watched as she stumbled over her question, and he, for once, knew exactly what she was going to say.

"I know this is kind of coming out of nowhere but I really, I just really need to ask you something and I want an honest answer."

"Penny," he said. "You know I am incapable of providing any other kind of answer."

"Yes," she said with a laugh, that was a part of what she was afraid of. "Well, what exactly would you say…happened…between us?"

Sheldon considered this question thoughtfully for a moment. He knew he would owe her an explanation for this at some point.

"I don't really know Penny," he said, the words tasting bitter. "I suppose we were what the world would call "in love." And then one day we weren't."

Penny nodded, looking down for a moment quickly collecting herself and the emotional response his words caused.

"You…Sheldon," she said, trying not to sound harsh. "You, not us. I was still in it, you knew that."

Sheldon nodded, feeling the shame creep up once again. Penny had never tried to make him feel bad about what had happened, she wasn't now, she just wanted answers, and he was ashamed to find he didn't really have one.

"I felt...suffocated," he finally said.

"Why? I don't understand. I stuck to your schedule, I never pressured you into anything, I never even talked about marriage, and Zoe, we were on the pill and it just happened."

"I know all of this Penny," he said. "I wish I had a good explanation for my behavior but I don't."

Penny nodded, falling back into her chair and looking away from him.

"…But," he continued, his voice making her look at him. "I can tell you that it is one of the few decisions I have ever made where I did not even remotely weigh the consequences accurately. I made the wrong choice to let you leave. I was…" his voice caught in his throat again, he had never said it before but if he ever was going to now was the time. "I was…" Penny watched concerned as he twitched like a frog in a lab experiment. "I was st…stupid."

No one else would know how much that meant to Penny. It was the best way Sheldon could ever apologize. She looked at him for a moment and then burst into laughter.

Sheldon looked at her confused and around the café, uncertain of how to interpret all the different emotions. When she stopped, she smiled at him and shook her head.

"Man, you are something else Dr. Cooper."

"Something else? What else would I be?"

"I don't know," said Penny. "But we, sir, are a mess."

He looked down at himself.

"Speak for yourself, I am quite put together."

Penny took a sip of the lovely wine and pondered their situation for a moment, and how she even ended up here it was so…weird. But things with Sheldon normally were.

"I would like to broach a related topic if you would allow me to," Sheldon said carefully, suddenly becoming nervous.

"Of course," said Penny, smiling encouragingly.

"Well, as you must know by now, how much I do regret my decision, and how I have developed feelings natural to a male animal to want to protect his offspring and the mother of his offspring, and how much I simply do enjoy having the two of you in my life, I was…I was wondering if, perhaps, we should…or what you would think of the two of us…revisiting our past romantic attachment."

Penny would have denied it if someone had asked her if her heart leapt at hearing those words. But she wanted to respond immediately, she wanted to say yes and start there family again. It sounded perfect…but she had thought that before too. She knew he had changed, but she needed a little bit more time.

'Look, Sheldon, I…."

"Of course," said Sheldon, trying to recover and feeling completely foolish. "I figured as much considering how I behaved in the past, I just thought…."

"Dammit Sheldon," she said with a laugh. "Shut-up and let me talk!"

He immediately obeyed, closing his mouth and looking at her.

"Thank-you. Look, I have yet to finalize my divorce with Jake and once all that blows over I want time for us just to do what we are doing now, to hang out and get to know each other again, because I know I am very different now than I was then and I think you are too and I just, I don't want to mess this up again. I don't think Zoe or I could take."

Sheldon nodded in understanding and waited for her to continue.

"But I can promise you, I won't be dating anyone else, and us getting back together is not at all off the table but, in the mean time, let's just be a mother and father who love their child dearly and who are trying to get to know each other again."

Sheldon let her words sink in and considered them thoughtfully. He should have known this would be what she wanted, and he needed to hear it. She just wasn't someone who he could kick out of his life and then whistle for her and she comes back…not that that was what he was doing at all, but understood her reservation. It was out of concern for her child and herself.

"That sounds acceptable," he said with a nod.

She smiled brightly at him and covered his hand with hers.

"Good…"she said, rubbing her thumb over the top of his hand. "And Sheldon…thanks for the best first date ever."

Sheldon's lips twitched into a smile, it was slightly smug but mostly pleased that he was able to do this for her.


	11. Chapter 11

_Hey you guys. So I'm sorry it's been so long since I have updated. Really, something happened that made this story both difficult to right and very personal. My own wonderful, supportive father passed away unexpectedly and it has taken me awhile to get back into things, from school, work and to writing for fun. I miss him so much but I also know that life goes on and he would want me to go on and do the things I love and take joy in doing. So here it is guys! The final chapter of "What Might Have Been." Sorry it's so late but I'm glad to be back._

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and before Sheldon knew it, Zoe and Penny were a comfortable, set and, almost, necessary part of his routine. Since their "date", he and Penny had not addressed the conversation about exploring further the chance of revisiting their previous relationship. It was almost like starting over with your best friend, they couldn't exactly start from square one, they had known each other for too long for it to be square one, but Sheldon knew Penny was different now, and, has always, is a surprisingly complex woman. So he spent much of his time getting to know her the best he could, familiarizing himself with what she liked and didn't. He did not want to mess it up again. Things were going well right now. Jake was out of Penny's life, getting nothing of the business or of Zoe.

He often worried that the feeling of restriction was going to resurface, that he would feel that suffocating grasp around his throat as Penny and Zoe further delved their way into his life. But it didn't. If anything he was stressed and worried when he didn't know where they were. Not merely because it disrupted his schedule but also because he worried, it made him nervous with Jake, unstable and jealous as he was, still being out there. He knew this was silly. Penny was perfectly able to take care of herself. All the same it unnerved him.

Even now as he was working late at the university, when he would normally be at home eating with his daughter and Penny, he found himself missing them. It was weird state of mind to be in, but somehow he felt at peace more than he ever had and he could see it in his work. Over the last few months his work seamlessly flowed from his mind to paper, ideas and reasons leapt onto his white board. It was as if there had been a block before, some part of his brain distracted with something else he did not even now about and now it was cleared and whatever the distraction was, it was now resolved. Ironic how he gave everything up so that he could focus on his work, but for the first time in a long time he found himself completely able to focus, and the results were…incredible.

But even then, unlike before, he could pull himself away from his white-board to make movie night with Zoe or take Penny to dinner. He didn't know how to define the odd little family they were, by scientific terms or any others, and, despite his habit to categorize and organize everything, he was surprisingly okay with it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"All I'm saying is that father went to college at 11 and I think that I should begin looking…"  
Penny rolled her eyes, looking up at the sky outside of the ice-cream parlor where she and Zoe had finished their ice-cream cones. Now the mother and daughter were enjoying a rare moment to themselves, both laying on their backs, head to head, legs dangling off the ends, and chatting. Penny didn't regret that Sheldon was back in their lives, but there were times when she missed having Zoe all to herself. She didn't know if it was the fact that Zoe was a genius, or the fact that she was a mother, but she didn't just love Zoe…she sincerely enjoyed her. She had never given much thought to being a mother before she got pregnant, had never thought about what it would be like, but she imagined she never would have thought it would've been so great

"Well," said Penny. "We can start looking but I am telling you girl, if you plan on going to college at 11 it better be somewhere close! I am not sending you half-way across the country before you're 16."

Zoe thoughtfully considered this, her little legs kicking up and down.

"That's an acceptable caveat."

"That's my girl."

The two ladies sat in silence for a moment before Zoe spoke again.

"So have you told daddy you love him yet?"

Penny remained laying still, staring ahead.

"He knows I love him. I tell him all the time."

"You also tell Leonard, Raj and Howard that all the time too. I mean have you told him you're in love with him?"

Penny laughed softly.

"I imagine he knows that."

"Do you think you ever stopped loving him? Like actually being in love with him?"

Penny thoughtfully considered the question before shaking her.

"No sweetheart, I never did. That crazy wack-a-doodle kind of ruined me."

Zoe sat up and turned around so she was sitting Indian style on the bench and looking down at her mother's face.

"He won't do it again mommy," she said, looking down at Penny's face. Penny was impressed with Zoe every day, but, unlike most people, she usually remembered she was six years old. But it was moments like this, not when she was spouting off theorem and formulas, that Penny remembered just what a genius she was.

"Do what sweetie?"

"Leave you…he won't leave you again. He's different now."

"I know that, Zoe."

Zoe cocked her head thoughtfully to the side.

"Are you sure?"

Penny didn't respond.

"…Because I don't think you are, which is understandably why you are putting off truly having a relationship with him because as long as you stay in the state you are, you think it will hurt less should he leave you again."

"Zoe, I…"

"He broke your heart horribly mom, you're allowed to be nervous about entering into another relationship with him. But I just…I think he's grown up mom. I think you both have and I really don't think it'll happen again." 

Penny closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes as she considered her daughters words. Of course she was right, she always was. Right now, she was comfortable. She loved Sheldon, she never stopped but _he _had and as long as they never officially were "in love" again he wouldn't be able to fall out of love with her…again. Her heart would not be broken…again. She was already fearful, because she knew if he ever did decide to leave; it was too late for Zoe. Her little heart would be broken, a thought that had almost made her run to the hills a few times these past few months, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"He's in love with you, mom."

Penny sat up and turned to face her daughter, her feet tucked under her as well.

"Zoe," said Penny. "I don't know what is going to happen between us, but know that no matter what happens, your daddy loves you." She paused and looked Zoe in the eyes and grabbed her hands in hers. "And that's amazing. I have seen him get excited about a video game, a physics problem, and comic books, but I have never seen him get as excited about those things as he does about you. No matter what happens, I want you to remember that."

Zoe smiled and nodded.

"But…"said Penny, leaning in and touching her forward to her daughters, smiling down at her. "No one will ever love you as much as me."

Zoe's smile got brighter and she hugged Penny around the neck.  
"I love you too mommy…more than physics."

XXXXXXX

Sheldon sat nervously at the table in the apartment, looking down at his watch nervously. Today was his birthday. Zoe and Penny had gone out to get his gift, one that Zoe was so excited about she was practically jumping up and down. When they returned they would be going to dinner with the gang. He hated to make this appointment so close to dinner but this was the only time Dr. Steiner was able to Skype for a few weeks and the doctor sounded very eager to speak with him. Sheldon was no less excited. Dr. Steiner was one of the foremost minds in theoretical physics. Some of the most remarkable breakthroughs in the field were being done in Steiner's research lab in Scotland. Sheldon looked down at his computer, waiting for it to signal an incoming call. When he saw the logo appear and ask to accept, he took a deep breath and pressed accept. He had no reason to be nervous, yes Dr. Steiner was brilliant, but no more then he, Steiner just had the advantage of being well-known.

"Hello Dr. Cooper," greeted Dr. Steiner.

"Dr. Steiner," said Sheldon, nodding curtly, still slightly jittery.

"It's an absolute pleasure," said Dr. Steiner, sincerely. "I have been following your career with interest for some time now Dr. Cooper and it is very exciting to have the chance to speak with you."

Sheldon nodded his thanks.

"Thank you Dr. Steiner, I am also a fan of your work as well."

"Thank you. Now, most recently the theories you set out in your latest article have caught my interest and the interest of my colleagues here in Scotland."

Sheldon nodded, listening intently. Of course it did. His latest article was brilliant; his latest ideas were breath-takingly brilliant and original. He knew Dr. Steiner did not call him to relay the obvious.

"Now , I'm sure you've heard of our research facilities hear…"

"Yes sir, you're lab has turned out some of the most ground-breaking research in the physics world."  
"And do you know how competitive it is to get a position hear."

Sheldon felt his mouth dry up. He cleared his throat.

"Yes," he said.

"Well then," said Dr. Steiner, starting to smile at him. "You must know what an incredible honor this is…"

"Sir," interrupted Sheldon feebly. "I…"

"Now Dr. Cooper, this is great moment in your career," said Dr. Steiner. "We would like to extend an invitation for you to join us in here. With your potential and our facilities, I believe you will be on a fast track to getting a Nobel Prize."

Nobel prize? Sheldon let the news sink in. Dr. Steiner was at the head of the game, working with him at his lab would open up doors that working at CalTech simply did not. But…

"I would move to Scotland?"

"Of course," said Steiner. "We would set you up with living accommodations and of course be happy to fly you over."

"How long would I be there?"

Steiner looked at him confused.  
"Why as long as it takes my dear boy. You know as well I do that you can't rush the process."

Sheldon sat there. He felt his face begin to twitch. Working with Dr. Steiner was the career opportunity of a life time. The Nobel Prize would be within reach if he joined their research efforts. But…

"Scotland," he said again.

"Yes, but you're unmarried, correct? I was told your whole life was about physics, single-minded and devoted, that's just the type of person we need."

Sheldon couldn't believe it. The opportunity of a lifetime, he should be thrilled but all he felt was a twisting sickness in the pit of his stomach. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"I see you are very excited," Dr. Steiner said. "I'll allow you to begin making arrangements. I have to hurry off but contact me soon and we will work out the details of your travels."

Sheldon nodded blankly and Dr. Steiner hung up. He closed his computer solemnly and took in a deep breath. Well, this was inconvenient…

He never had trouble making decisions. He did what he wanted, he wanted what made the most sense, what was the most logical…the only problem was his emotions were tied up into this one. It wasn't pure logic and numbers.

He turned around and froze…Zoe was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking at him, her eyes filled with sadness, hurt, anger and disappointment.

"Scotland Dr. Cooper," she asked her voice shaky and surprisingly cold.

"Zoe…I…"

Zoe threw the envelope she was holding to the ground and shook her head furiously; she blinked violently trying to hold back the tears that were biting at her eyes. Sheldon felt his stomach twist.

"I promised her," said Zoe, her lip shaking, looking up at him in disbelief. "I promised her you wouldn't do this to her again!"

Before Sheldon could respond, Zoe turned and ran out the front door, passed Penny who was holding bags of groceries.

"Zoe," she called out, looking up at Sheldon and back at Zoe who was running across the lawn. She looked up and saw Sheldon running after her.

"Sheldon," she said, standing in the way of the door. "What happened?"

Penny was slightly taken aback by Zoe's erratic behavior, but more than that the pale, sick look on Sheldon's face. He looked distraught.

"Nothing, Zoe overheard a conversation I had with a fellow physicist and he offered me a position at a very prestigious research lab…in Scotland."

He saw Penny's eyes dart away from him, her look went from the kind sparkling look he had grown accustom to, to a stony one. Not upset, not mad and worst of all…not surprised.

"Penny," said weakly. He didn't know what was wrong with him, why couldn't he speak, why didn't he know what to say, he knew what he wanted to say but what he wanted to say was so…final. What he wanted to say would mean that life as he knew it would end.

"Sheldon," she said her voice distant. "It's fine. We never said this was a full time thing, you've let us stay here until we got back on our feet and I think we are so it's okay."

Sheldon tried to speak again but she shook her head and backed away.

"I'm going to go find Zoe and…um…try and calm her down."

She turned around without a word leaving a baffled Sheldon. He was so confused. He was never confused. The feeling was unsettling. He tried to think, he tried to look at the situation objectively. He closed his eyes trying to clear his mind but the only thing he could see were Zoe's tear-filled eyes. He couldn't lose her…he just found her. But he couldn't give up on a chance like this. He would be the shame of the physics world if he turned this down.

He jumped when his phone buzzed. He hurriedly opened the text message from Penny.

"_She's pretty upset. Staying with Leonard tonight. Will pick up stuff tomorrow. Penny."_

Sheldon sighed and closed his eyes.

Maybe this was for the best. He couldn't image his life without them in it. It wouldn't be like last time when he didn't care that she left. This time…it would hurt. He knew that and he wasn't sure how to prepare for that, he didn't know how to react to an emotional trauma. He avoided that by having no emotions…he avoided that by surrounding himself with numbers and physics but maybe…maybe this would save them all a lot more trouble.

The thought made him sick.

He made a move to call his mother when the envelope on the ground caught his eye. He stood and made his way to the kitchen and bent down to pick it up. It was a big manila envelope, it looked very professional. He opened it and pulled out several papers.

There was a document and letter from the courthouse in Pasadena. He flipped through them and his eyes landed on one. If someone were there, they would not have believed that Sheldon was capable of so much emotion, but he was. If someone had asked, Sheldon would not say he was fighting back tears…but he would have been lying. He dropped the other documents and held onto one…his birthday present.

It was an official document, signed and dated, indicated an official name change.

_Zoe Lee Prince-Cooper._

XXXX

"Thank you so much for doing this, Leonard," said Penny. It had been two days since she and Zoe had left and now Leonard was driving them to the hotel. Penny was so grateful to Leonard. He allowed them to stay with them and then arranged a hotel for them. He of course offered to let them stay longer, but Penny was insistent. She didn't want to get stuck. She still wanted to see the gang but it was clear that after this, that part of her life was over. She and Zoe needed to make their own life. She would begin apartment hunting for the two of them later that day.

"Of course," said Leonard. "Raj and Howard should already have most of your things packed and brought over for you."

She smiled and looked back at Zoe, who was sitting in the backseat, her head resting against the door. The poor girl was exhausted. It broke Penny's heart. She had already decided she wanted her to maintain contact with Sheldon once she stopped being angry. If he was moving from Scotland It would be easier for Penny and it would keep Sheldon at enough of a distance to where he could still call, write and skype Zoe but he wouldn't hurt her again.

The spent the rest of the ride in silence. Penny's thoughts were wondering. She still hadn't faced the fact that she wasn't just hurting for her daughter…she was also hurting for herself. She was in love with Sheldon….it seemed like she always would love him. But she could do this. She and Zoe could do it together. They would make a life, just the two of them and they would be fine.

She looked up when they pulled up into a driveway. She looked at Leonard, confused as hell. They were in front of a beautiful two-story house.

"Leonard, what…"

"I wanted to take you to look at this house."

"Well, it's beautiful," said Penny. "But really, Zoe and I are fine with an apartment. There is no way I could afford a house like this."

"Come on," said Leonard getting out of the car. "I know the people selling it and they are willing to sell it for a very reasonable price."

"Really Leonard," said Penny. "I can't afford it and even if I could it's a little big for two people."

"Would you just come and look? And who knows you may get…a dog."

"I'm allergic to dogs," said Zoe, still looking out the window.

Leonard looked at them exasperatedly.

"Please, we drove all the way out here," he said. "Would you just come look?"

Penny let out a sigh and got out of the car. Zoe followed suit, un-strapping her car seat. The house was beautiful, thought Penny. The lawn was nice and big. The porch wrapped around the front of the house.

Leonard led them up to the door. Penny looked around as Leonard pulled her through the front door and into the living room.

"Leonard, I didn't see a sign out there," she said. "Are you sure this house is for sell?"

"No…it's not…"

Penny looked around confused and saw Sheldon standing in the living room.

"Sheldon," she said, surprised. "What's…what's going on?"

Sheldon stepped closer to her and Zoe. Leonard backed away slowly. He didn't want to leave thought, this was something he wanted to see.

"This house isn't for sale," he said again. "I already bought it."

Penny looked at his somewhat apprehensively.

"Why," she asked, her grip tightening around Zoe's hand.

"I intend to live here," he said, calmly. "If this house is to yours and Zoe's liking, I would like you both to live here with me."

Penny's mouth fell open slightly as she looked at the man in front of her, who was moving closer.

"Penny," he said, and then looked down at Zoe. "I am sorry for my tardiness in dealing with the issue, but I called Dr. Steiner and told him that I had to decline his generous offer."

"You're not going to Scotland," asked Zoe, her voice shaking.

Sheldon looked at Penny, not breaking eye contact with her.

"No," he said forcibly. "I am not going to Scotland. I am not going anywhere."

"Sheldon," said Penny, every emotion possible surging through her. "Sheldon I don't…this…"

"I know and fully recognize that my behavior was abominable Penny. I do not know how I managed to foul this up twice but I assure you I will do all in my power to make sure it does not happen again…no matter how many research position I have to turn down." 

Penny closed her eyes, sending the pooling tears streaming down her cheek. Sheldon waited with baited breathe for her response, as was Zoe as she looked up at her mother. Sheldon swallowed, and licked his dry lips nervously. Before he knew it the word came from his mouth…

"Please," he said his voice so low it was almost imperceptible. Penny looked up at him, the word reverberating in her mind, and before anyone knew what happened she let go of Zoe, rushed toward him and pulled him down to her face by the collar.

It took Sheldon a moment to respond to her kiss but when he shook off the shock, his hands went to her waist and he returned it with as much vigor as her.

Zoe backed away toward Leonard, who was looking away, embarrassed. Zoe looked on smiling. When they pulled away, she stepped forward toward her father. He looked down at her, Zoe met his gaze.

"Does the house meet with your approval," asked Sheldon.

Zoe looked around.

"It's close to the comic book store," she said.

"Of course," he said. She nodded in approval.

"I got my name changed," she said, changing the subject.

"Yes, I know."

"That means you can't do that again," said Zoe again.

Sheldon nodded.

"I know."

Zoe looked around the room one more time, then back at her mother. The two shared a silent look before Zoe wrapped her arms around Sheldon's legs and hugged him tightly.

"Daddy," said Zoe.

"Yes?"

"Do you know what this means?"

Sheldon looked down at her confused.

"What?"

She laughed and looked up at him smugly.

"We are going to have to re-draft your roommate agreement to accommodate two female roommates."

Sheldon let out a sigh.

"Drat," he muttered. "You're right."

He would have to get to work on that.

XXXXX

10 Years Later

"…And it is my honor to present to you tonight, my friend and colleague, and this year's recipient of the Nobel Prize in Physics, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper."

Sheldon made his way across the stage, the thundering applause of the audience making his knees quake. His phobia had gotten better but still crowds made him nervous, speaking in front of crowds made him even more nervous.

He made his way up to the podium and stood there, under the blinding light. He blinked several times, his eyes slowly adjusting. He could hear his blood thundering in his ears as he looked down at the golden metal in his hands. How he had longed for this moment….his whole life had been about reaching this accomplishment. He had given up so much for it…

He looked out into the crowd and found them, sitting hear the front. His beautiful, wife, smiling proudly at him, ten years later Penny was still at his side. Next to her sat Zoe. He couldn't believe that the beautiful, perfect girl, already boasting two PhD's, was his daughter. Every day she redeemed him, every day she amazed him. Next two Zoe, looking very uncomfortable in his suit, was his 5-year-old son Joseph; the spitting image of his mother and his father's biggest fan.

Sheldon looked down at the little medal in his hand and shook his head…he had almost given all of that, all of what was sitting in the front row, for…this? He felt his hand squeeze around the metal and he shook his head. How could he have ever even asked which one he wanted, how was that even a question, how could he ever have been so stupid? In that moment he almost felt resentment for the object he was holding.

He let out a small breathy laugh before looking up, still holding the medal. He looked out across the crowd and took a deep breath.

"I've imagined this moment so many times in my life," he started, in a tone that almost sounded like he was talking to himself, he shook his head again. "It's nothing like I imagined it would be."

The crowd waited. But nothing else came. Sheldon nodded his head curtly and turned and walked off the stage. He was generally known as being anti-social and rude, so he didn't bother with any other words. He suddenly was in a hurry to get out of the auditorium, to get away from all of these people, all these people he had for so long wanted to rub shoulders with, well, not literally, there were no shoulders he actually desired to rub against his.

All he wanted to was to get out and get back to the only things that mattered in the world.


End file.
